"Sweets"est IEP Meeting I Never Had

Last night I dreamed that we were having Liza's IEP meeting for next year. Not sure why I'm dreaming about it because I am NOT prepared at all. One of my other children, one of the male persuasion who doesn't like to be mentioned much on "Mar's" (that's Mom for those of you without nutty teenage boys) blog, has a somewhat serious health issue going on and that's been my major focus for the last few weeks.

No worries about the kid. He's doing ok and they say that once he has surgery next week to remove the problem that we shouldn't have to worry about a recurrence of this particular issue. Thank God for that! But, it has added some extra stress to my already usually hectic life. I think he's a little stressed about it but mostly he makes jokes and uses it as an excuse to get out of chores. Example -  Me: What's up with you not doing your dishes? Him: I've been deathly ill Mar! Me: *eyes rolling all over the place*

This is my life.

So, back to my dream.

The school personnel, (the usual suspects: Assistant Principal, Reg Ed Teacher, SpEd Teacher, Speech Therapist, Psychologist) and I are all sitting at the table and I tell them that next year Liza IS going to be included in Reg Ed more than she was this year and if they can't figure out how to make it happen I will get an advocate to come to every meeting with me and take it even further if I have to. They all look at me like they can't believe I would say that to them. 

Then I say, "It's nothing against you all. I really do LIKE all of you but I LOVE my daughter!" then they're looking at me like I've really just  hurt their feelings. Like, why do I love Liza but not them?! LOL (my brain, she's nuts!)

That's when the School Psychologist, Lance Sweets (you know, the baby-faced psychologist from Bones) says to them, while smiling his cute little Sweetsie Smile at me, "That's actually very logical." and I know that he means EVERYTHING I just said and not just the part about liking them but loving Liza.

Then I woke up.

This one stands right up there with my All-Time Weirdest Dreams Ever. Anyone care to interpret?

What Did She Say?!

Pay no attention to the cluttered table.

Liza has been working so hard on learning to really speak over the last two years. In case I never shared before or no one remembers, she could say "net net net" (Nyet or NO NO NO) when I gave her a bath or brushed her hair and that was basically it when I first met her. She also did a lot of babbling and made what we called her "piggy sound" by sucking air somewhere into the back of her throat, it's actually a really cool and unique vocalization and I hope she doesn't forget how to do it. Other than that, when she left the orphanage she couldn't speak. She learned to sign really quickly and for the longest time that was her only way of communicating with us because she wouldn't even try to say words.

*And here's my small PSA for the day: If you're child is non-verbal, teach them to sign! If you're adopting a child who speaks another language, teach them to sign as you transition to your language. If your child is typical and was born to you, teach them to sign. What could it hurt?! Seriously, I am a huge advocate of signing now that I've seen how well it works in helping a child transition from one language to another. Signing also gave Liza the confidence to actually try to speak the words that she was hearing spoken all around her. Now, she repeats almost everything she hears. Including words I sometimes say that I shouldn't.... oops!*

These days Liza can say SO many words! I don't even know how many cause I haven't taken the time to actually think about it and count them up but she is learning to talk and is no longer shy about it and that's what's most important. I can ask her a question and ask "yes or no?" and she will tell me which one she prefers. IE: yes to these shoes, no to those. Yesterday I asked her if she was going to be a good girl and before I could even ask her "yes or no" she answered back, "Ess (yes)". So proud of her! She can put multiple words together and does so with a lot more frequency just in the last few months. 

For a little girl who basically had no verbal/expressive language two years ago, and only understood Russian, I think she has come a long way! And, she's still moving ahead. Gaining her confidence and determined to prove wrong anyone who may have thought that she couldn't do... well, anything "they" thought she couldn't do. She amazes me!

If you made it all the way through this, here's a funny little nugget for you that I shared on Facebook. First, the backstory. Liza has learned to say "flick", and she's also learned to flick things/people/animals but that's a different problem. So, she says "flick" but she's not really got a great grasp of the /f/ and /l/ sounds when they're put together. Are you getting it yet? It comes out sounding like a naughty word. Uh huh..... Now you're getting it, right?

Actual Facebook status from yesterday:

Remember how I shared that Liza learned to say "flick" but it sounded, ahem... naughty? Yeah well, today at CVS she said it about 5 times and I just kept shushing her. Then I looked up and this big dude sitting near us is trying not to laugh and the lady beside me is horrified. Gotta love that kid...

I swear, sometimes I really believe God gave her to me to cure me of my tendency to be easily embarrassed. And, it's working!

Zuka

I know you all want an update on Liza and I am working on putting one together. Here's a little preview of the little Turkey, aka Lizabelle, aka Zuka (she insists on calling herself Zuka lately- it was one of her nicknames in the orphanage). She's cute, sweet, nutty, stubborn, gorgeous, and a Supreme MESS.

I promise I will have more pics and more of an update soon. Blogger and I are getting reacquainted and she seems to be a bit miffed at me for being away so long.

One Year Ago Today: Making Memories

Old Glory Outside Nationals Park / Photo by Rachel Levitin

 Still loving Facebook's tendency to randomly remind me of what I was doing last year. I just wish they were a little easier to find. Today's reminder of last year brought back a memory I would have forgotten since I apparently left my camera at home that day. Here's what I shared on 9/11/10: "Decided @last minute to go to Nationals game. Perfect day: it's Heroes Day; weather's beautiful. A young Vet thru first pitch, got standing ovation."

We had gone to Maryland to visit Rick's oldest daughter and her husband and while there we decided to go watch the Nationals play. It turned out to be a nice time and we were glad we went. Not really because of the game itself, although that was fun, but because of how they recognized firefighters, police officers, and military personnel throughout the game. I was really glad to be able to share that with my kids before we left for almost 2 months to bring Liza into our family. A huge change, but one none of us would change if we had to.

After a day of remembering what happened on 9-11-01 it was nice to be able to remember a great day spent with the family. I don't ever expect or want to forget what happened on that day 10 years ago, but I'm still thankful for a sweet memory to end the day with.

Fresh Air Fund

I remember meeting a family years ago who volunteered with the Fresh Air Fund. I had never heard of it before and thought it sounded like a great idea. I was able to witness the joy of the children that the family was hosting and I thought it was a great idea.

Here's a blurb about the program from the Fresh Air website:
"Since 1877, The Fresh Air Fund, a not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer experiences in the country to more than 1.7 million New York City children from disadvantaged communities. Each year, thousands of children visit volunteer host families in 13 states and Canada through the Friendly Town Program or attend Fresh Air Fund camps."

Recently I was contacted by someone who works for the Fresh Air Fund and asked to advocate for them. They are currently looking for host families who will welcome the children into their homes and sponsors to help defray the costs. If you've ever thought of hosting a child this is a really wonderful program. This quote sums it up, I think: "A child taking a walk in the grass barefoot, gazing at the stars, being outdoors and enjoying a slower pace - that's what it's all about." - Joan, PA

Renaissance Faire

Does anyone else love going to Renaissance Faires/Festivals? I was introduced to my first one, the Georgia Renaissance Festival, in 10th grade. I was in Mr. Horton's History class and we were taking a field trip there one Saturday. The only problem with that was I had just been hired as a Hostess at one of the local Waffle Houses in our VERY small town (yes I worked at Waffle House and yes there were more than one - less than five miles apart) and I had to work that Saturday, and my Mom wouldn't let me take the day off - teaching responsibility or some such nonsense (just kidding Mom!) So, to make it up to me, Mom arranged for Me, my best friend, BFF's mom, and Herself to go to the Ren Faire another weekend. That was it, I was hooked. Totally loved it and everything about it. Maybe it's goofy, maybe it's "nerdy", but I still love it and would go a couple times a year if I could.

A couple of weeks ago Rick and I took our kids to the Virginia Renaissance Faire during Pirate Week. It was H.O.T. that day but it was still a lot of fun. AND maybe the best part of the day - there was a guy dressed like Captain Jack Sparrow. He looked just like, him, walked like him, and even waved/smiled like him. He waved at me and smiled and I wanted to follow him like a little puppy dog. I felt like I had been warped into a pirate movie for a second. What is it about Jack Sparrow that makes ladies love him? I'm not the only one, right? I wish I had gotten a picture of him. Ah well....

Where was I? Oh yeah.... took the kids to Ren Faire. They learned the Medieval alphabet, apparently we added a few letters since then, and they learned that they would have probably had a job by age nine. I think they were glad they were born when they were. There were a couple of guys there doing an acrobat/comedy routine that was really funny and of course the “Queen and her Court”. Not to mention all the other pirates wondering around and the quest to decide who would be the Queen’s official “privateer” which is different than a pirate but still kinda the same… yeah…..

Some snapshots of what we did:
  

The boys got to throw sharp objects at targets. Let’s just say Noah will never be an axe murderer…. or a wood-cutter either, but it was fun to watch him throw that axe at the wall.

  

  They didn’t do too bad with the bow and arrow, but I think it felt a little awkward at first.

 
The Lovely Step-daughter and I decided to stick with something a little more lady-like, so she had her face painted and I got my hair braided.  Pops (AKA Rick/Dad) just hung out, drank a little wine, and somehow managed to not be in any of the pictures. It was a good day.

Dealing With Bullies Part 1 or Assault = 1/2 Day ISS?!

Last week one of my boys came home and said he needed to tell me something and made me promise not to get mad at him. Dontcha just hate it when they do that? Well, I knew I needed to know what it was so I said I would try not to get upset depending on what it was. Here's what he told me:

That he got three people in trouble in his second block class. That they all got referrals and might be suspended or given ISS. 

I asked him how did he figure that it was his fault that these students got in trouble. HE told me this story:

A girl in his class said she wanted to put make-up on him and he told her no. She proceeded to try to apply the make-up anyway and he got up to walk away from her. She came after him with the make-up still trying to put it on him and he put his hands up in front of his face. A boy who is quite a bit bigger than him grabbed his hands and held him while this girl and another girl put the make-up on him. (Their goal didn't seem to be to be to make him "pretty" just to get the make-up on his face even though he had repeatedly said he did not want this to happen.)

Did you notice that he indicated these kids being in trouble was "his fault"? Yeah, that's because the girl who started all this told everyone that he said, it was"OK". And whether  A.) they believe her for some reason or B.) she's one of the "cool kids" or C.) they don't want her to decide she has a problem with them, my son is now the one who is looked on as the "problem" in all this. That is a problem to me! I am really angry that this happened in the first place, even more angry that it took place in the classroom and especially angry that the problem is being perpetuated by this child's obvious lack of remorse and placing the blame on my son!

The school's response? This I hope makes EVERYONE angry. I don't think I have to tell anyone that this is a case of assault. I have been told that it is definitely assault by the Principal, the School Resource Officer (AKA - Sergeant for the Sheriff's office who patrols the school), and everyone who I've told this story to. So, the school's official word on how they handled it is, "It was taken care of" and they can't tell me what that really means because it's confidential. In other words I am not allowed to know what disciplinary actions were taken against the other students because they are minors. I have since begun to believe that is a load of horsecrap created to protect the school system.

What I do know is that these same three kids were back in the classroom, second block (so about 10:30), with my son the very next day. This tells me that three children ,the Principals and the resident Police officer of the school agree, assaulted my child received 1/2 day of either In-School Suspension or Out-of School Suspension.

Does this seem right to ANYONE?! Because it certainly does not seem right to me. I am on a mission to get some  things changed and to get justice for my son. Right now he still sees himself as less than worthy of being treated with respect. The first red flag was when he told me that "he got some people in trouble". No! They got themselves in trouble! I refuse to bow down and just accept that the discipline that was given is enough. It's obvious to me that it's not enough by the fact that this girl is able to place the blame for her actions on my son and he is accepting it and just hoping this will all go away. Kids are still going around saying "Well, _____ said it was OK!", basically excusing the behaviour of the kids involved.

So, what are we doing about it?

• The first thing that I did was to call the Principal, the Assistant Principal was the one who actually "took care of it", but when I couldn't get her I spoke to the Head Principal. She basically said she would look into it, pretty much blamed it on the Substitute, and refused to tell me the discipline that was given. Oh, and strongly suggested that maybe my son would want to stay home the next day because he "was probably embarrassed". Um yeah, I think we all know now why she thought it might be a good idea for him not to be there the next day. She knew he would tell us that those kids were in class.
• The day after the incident Rick and I both went in and requested to speak to her, the assistant who handled it, and the resource officer (who happened to not be in). Nothing really was changed, we were told once again that they were looking into it, they couldn't tell us what discipline was given, and that yes, the same sub was back again that day but they expected the regular teacher back the next day. Head Principal also tried to excuse the other children's behavior by saying that _______ had allowed them to put his hair in ponytails in the past and that he also had allowed makeup (he denies the past makeup and says the girls play with all the boys' hair, and different girls - not the one involved here). Rick made sure to make the point that no matter what was allowed in the past that when he told them no this time he should have been left alone. They could not deny this. They both also admitted that, yes, it was a case of assault and we can press charges and we can also sue the school if we don't feel they handled it correctly. (As of May 3 I have not heard back regarding their "investigation")
• I also called the Sheriff's office and talked to the Resource Officer who also confirmed that it is assault and let me know that, contrary to school policy, she was not notified when the incident happened but the next day, I believe after we met with the two principals. She said that she would be talking to the parents of the students involved and would let me know how that went. She also re-confirmed that we could press charges and that we have a year in which to decide to do so.
• I was given the name of a lady at the County Schools Central Office who is the contact if you feel that the school did not handle a situation like this correctly. Well, we certainly don't feel it was handled correctly! I spoke with her this morning and am waiting to hear back from her after she contacts the school and speaks with the principals. I get the feeling that she has never had to deal with something like this and doesn't know how to proceed.

Our school district has a supposed "Anti-Bullying Policy" that no one in the school system seems to know what it is. When you ask them what it is they direct you to the County's Schools website. Then you can't find it there. We had to call and speak to the receptionist only to be told she needed to find it herself and then call us back and direct us how to find it. So much for their strict stance against bullying, when we did find it we learned that it basically leaves the decision on how to handle things up to the individual schools. That is not a strict bullying policy, that is a cop-out, and kids are the ones who are suffering because of the school systems inability to take a stand. Not just the kids who are being bullied but the ones who are doing the bullying. I do believe "kids will be kids", but I also STRONGLY believe that it's our job as the adults in their lives to teach them what actions are wrong. I believe that some wrong actions have been committed and no one is stepping up to teach these kids the lesson they need to learn.

Especially in light of recent news stories about kids who were bullied, I can not "just let this go". I have other children who will be going through this school in years to come, one who is already there and one with special needs who will attend there in a few years. I hate to imagine what things may be like if something isn't done NOW. What might it be like for Liza if things at that school only get worse? This is a fight I refuse to give up on.

If you are just as incensed over this as I am please share this post with everyone you know. There has been a miscarriage of justice and I intend to see it made right if I have to make more noise than I have ever made in my life. 1/2 day of ISS or OSS is NOT enough for an assault on another student. A serious message needs to be sent to the entire student body to ensure that something like this (or worse) does not happen again! No, I have not shared the name of the school but if you know how to use Google you can probably figure it out. I want my entire county to know about this and if needed the rest of the USA.

Music and Life: Austin, Noah, Johnny Cash and CDB

In our house we love to laugh at the dinner table. I've mentioned it before. Too bad Ricky was sleeping tonight cause this one caused some of us to bust a gut. He wasn't amused...again.

Recently in Music Appreciation class Austin was introduced to the song,"Devil Went Down to Georgia". As a good Southern girl, and fan of CDB, I am a little ashamed to admit that he doesn't remember ever hearing this song before. I'm blaming it on the idea I once had that it was wrong to like a song that talked about a boy making a deal with the devil. I have since come to the conclusion that "the d" gets his butt whooped so it's ok. I'm sticking with that. But, I digress.

So, back to the point. Austin was introduced to the song recently and tonight during dinner preparation and at the table we were discussing the song and who's heard it and who might sing it. Someone mentioned that Johnny Cash sang it ( we corrected that later) and that sent my boys off on a small foray into song writing. It was quite hilarious and I HAD to share.

Here's how it went down:

Austin: "Ew Ew! Noah and I made up a remix about this song!"

This is when they both started thumping their chests in rhythm.

Boys: "The Devil went down to Georgia. He was looking for a soul to steal. When he saw Johnny Cash playing a piccolo, and he said "let's make a deal". And as he rosined up his bow he said, "Play that funky music white boy!""

Maybe it was only funny to us or you had to be there. We thought it was hilarious. Skippy and I cracked up so hard I'm surprised we didn't both choke on our soup.

I Miss Summer Already

This is one of the last family outings we had this summer. The annual Labor day picnic. I know they're not the greatest pics but I've been nervous about sharing any that have The Girls in them. So this is the best it's gonna get.

Um, and yeah, this one. My Knucklehead kid (aka Noah) took this one upside-down on purpose. I haven't had the heart to turn it right side up and it makes me laugh. He's pretty goofy :)

Kids Are Fun

Four kids and a husband who works nights in a smallish house are not a good combination. Especially when a couple of the kids aren't used to being quiet, everyone loves to talk and laugh at the dinner table, and the master bedroom is right next to the dining room. Not good planning on my part when we first looked at this house. I just knew I loved the beams, the big kitchen, and the front porch. Hindsight.....

Anyway, last night we were having dinner and the new rule is when Dad's sleeping we all have to be quiet. So, the kids are gesturing to each other to pass things and that alone made for some interesting moments. But, then Skippy starts gesturing to Mississippi and everyone else just minds their own business...at first. Then she begins gesturing a little more flamboyantly so I looked over thinking I could help figure out what she needed. She could have whispered it but she was having too much fun with this. Finally, after everyone's looking and we've offered her the ketchup, hot sauce, salt & pepper, and napkins, none of which were what she needed.

So, I asked her: "What are you trying to say?"

And she says, with a goofy grin: "I was telling Mississippi, 'It's really quiet'!"

LOL, crazy kid! Maybe you had to be there but we thought it was hilarious.
Um, Ricky was not amused though........ :)

It's a New Year

Yesterday was my birthday, I turned 31, and today is the first day of the New Year. Christmas has come and gone, and I'm sitting here wondering why time flies now that I'm grown. I remember when I was 10 and I wanted to be 13, then I was 13 and wanted to be 16, then 18..... and then at 19 I had a baby and ever since then my life has just flown until now I'm sitting here tonight trying to figure out how I got to be 31already and have two practically half grown kids. It's bewildering and almost depressing.

I think one of my resolutions this year is going to be to enjoy my kids more and cherish my time with them. I think way too much lately of how they will someday, in the not so distant future, be grown and gone. Am I the only one who gets a little nervous at that thought? I want to make sure that they are ready, that they know how to make good choices when that time comes. That's what we all want for our kids, right?