Better Off Hidden Away?

 I woke up this morning at 6:00 AM because that's when my alarm goes off every weekday morning. The "problem" is, today is the beginning of Spring Break so I should have been able to sleep in. It's ok though, cause I got a shower all to myself, no little girl crowding in on me. I also got to do a little yoga and now I'm sitting here blogging, drinking my coffee, while the house is quiet except for Liza trying to decide if she wants to wake up all the way now, or later.

I also woke up thinking. A lot about the Ethan Saylor case. Mostly I just keep thinking about how it seems no one cares except for those of us with close ties of some kind to the Down syndrome or disability community. That makes me sad, but it also really makes me angry. A perfect example I can think of is a woman I had a little discussion with on racism, she thought it was racist that Trayvon Martin's shooting got so much publicity but the shooting of little Antonio Santiago didn't (according to her). I told her that what she was actually doing and saying was racist and then told her if she really wanted to get angry about an injustice she could add her voice to those of us who were signing a petition asking for an independent investigation into Robert Ethan Saylor's death. Not once, but twice, I suggested this to her. Up until that point, she was arguing back with me but once I gave her a real outlet for her righteous indignation all I got was crickets. Of course.

And, it seems like, if it's not coming from our own side, that's all we're going to get. Oh, and we're not getting a great response from some on our own side either (you may notice there was no mention of them discussing or requesting an investigation). It's really pissing me off!

Why can't people get mad about a young man being killed over a $12 movie ticket?! Doesn't it sound so simple? If that's all you heard about the whole story wouldn't it make you angry? So why is it when we say, a young man with Down syndrome was killed over a $12 movie ticket, do people just keep on scrolling and not giving it a second thought? That's discrimination, isn't it?

Now, it's 11:30 at night and I'm just tired. Angry and tired and a little worried about the World my daughter is growing up in as an individual who happens to have Down syndrome. Sometimes I think about the Ukrainian Judge who worried that, maybe, Liza was better off living hidden away in orphanages and institutions. Places where the outside World couldn't belittle her and mistreat her just because she's a little different. I'm NOT saying I agree with this judge, I'm just saying that I can see how easy it is to get to that way of thinking when you know stories like Ethan Saylor's and Antonio Martinez's (Martinez was pepper sprayed and beaten by police). But, it's not the ones who are different who need to be hidden away for their own good. It's the ones who would refuse to accept and include them who need to change. For their own good? Well, yes, and everyone else's too.

If you want to help get justice for Ethan Saylor please sign the petition asking for an independent investigation. Down syndrome did not kill Ethan, the ignorance of three off-duty police officers did. Then call the Department of Justice at 202-307-5138. The DOJ wants to "gauge the public reaction before taking the next steps", so just let them know your reaction to a man being killed because a few cops couldn't have a little patience and common sense. Then feel free to post about both of these ways to help on your blog, Facebook, whatever. Just don't keep scrolling and forget about it because "it doesn't effect you". It effects all of us. This is a HUMAN rights issue.

If you want to know more I'd suggest reading these blogs: Down Syndrome Uprising, With a Little Moxie, Green Tea Ginger, and Words Hurt or Heal. There are many more really great blogs and activists out there and you can find quite a few of them at the Down Syndrome Uprising Facebook page

Zuka

I know you all want an update on Liza and I am working on putting one together. Here's a little preview of the little Turkey, aka Lizabelle, aka Zuka (she insists on calling herself Zuka lately- it was one of her nicknames in the orphanage). She's cute, sweet, nutty, stubborn, gorgeous, and a Supreme MESS.

I promise I will have more pics and more of an update soon. Blogger and I are getting reacquainted and she seems to be a bit miffed at me for being away so long.

One Year Ago Yesterday: Losing Liza..... ??

September 29, 2010

September 29, 2010 was Austin's 14th birthday, but I was the one who got the surprise and it wasn't a good one. We'd been in Ukraine for one whole day and had recovered somewhat from our jetlagged tiredness. We'd decided to go out and explore Kiev and hoped to meet up with a few other families at TGIFs later that evening. Then we got a call.....

Serge called us as we were walking along Kreschatik Street and asked us if we would meet him at TGIFridays, he had some news for us. I KNEW it wasn't good. I just knew. But, Rick was sure that it was just to go over what our process would be like at the SDA the next day. I knew, from all the blogs I'd read and all the folks I knew who had been through the process before us that it wasn't typical to have a meeting with Serge before the SDA. I was right.

I remember getting to TGIFs and finding Serge, and then I remember seeing a bunch of faces I'd previously only seen online at a table in the corner. The families had decided to get together for lunch instead of dinner and we didn't know because we'd been out and internet wasn't working. I remember wondering if they knew something was wrong when we passed them and only said hello and went upstairs. I remember wondering if those who'd had their SDA appointments already had also had a meeting with Serge the day before, but I knew they hadn't. Something was not right. I remember wanting to hear what Serge had to say and get it over with but not wanting to know because I knew it wouldn't be good. It wasn't.

After 20 months of being in process to adopt Liza we were told that there was a problem with her paperwork and she wasn't adoptable. Apparently her parents had not signed the right papers when they abandoned her to the baby house. That meant that if her parents could not be found and/or weren't willing to sign new paperwork she would not be adoptable and we would need to choose another child to adopt. On top of that, her parents had divorced and rumor had it that her mom was living in Moscow. There was talk of having to fly her here IF she could even be found there. It looked bleak, very bleak. Serge was telling me not to cry and I just remember thinking, "I'm not gonna cry cause I am NOT giving up! Do you realize what I've already been through just to get HERE?!" I didn't say it out loud cause it seemed no one else thought there was any hope left. So, I let them think what they wanted - knowing the whole time that it wasn't over yet.

After that we went to Serge's apartment to look through the children still available on Reece's Rainbow that fit with the small parameters set by our Homestudy (it had been written specifically to adopt Liza) and Rick's age(he was already over 45). The child had to be a girl, had to be between the ages of 4 years 8 months and 5 years 11 months. I remember there being talk about possibly not adopting a child with Down syndrome, but another disability. I just knew that I had come to adopt a child with Down syndrome and if we did have to choose another child I was planning on that child also having DS. But, no one seemed to want my opinion or maybe I just wasn't in the mood to "shop" for another child so I just continued to keep my thoughts to myself.


After a while Serge had another appointment to get to so he drove us back to TGIFriday's and we walked back to our apartment. I remember later going out to find an internet cafe, since our computer wouldn't work, and looking at the little girls on RR trying to decide who would take Liza's place if it really came to that. That was so hard. How could we give up on Liza? But yet, it could be another little girls chance, and how could we not want that?

After that hard, hard day we went back to our apartment to get ready for our SDA appointment the next day. We must have talked to the kids at some point and wished Austin a happy birthday but I honestly don't remember that at all. I do remember knowing I wasn't going to be able to sleep and I was right. I spent most of the night laying in bed or pacing. But then I remembered a couple of verses that had gotten me through at other times that we had faced mountains and won. Psalm 60:12, Zephaniah 3:17, and Psalm 18: 2&3 got me through that night. After reading these verses over and over to myself out loud and praying I knew that no matter what happened the next day He was still ultimately in control and I was right in the middle of His plan.

September 30, 2010 coming soon.....

Orphan Victory Foundation: Father's House

Hmmm? So, what is Orphan Victory Foundation? It's a ministry that has been growing in mine and Rick's hearts since before we even fell in love with Liza. During our adoption process the dream became bigger and eventually we met with someone to talk about how to get it started and make it "real". That was a little over a year ago and OVF has really just been a name that gets junk mail at our address and a dream in our hearts that we just haven't known where to begin with or felt we didn't have the time to devote to "right now". I'm going to dedicate a page on my blog to share more about OVF in the next few days, but for now I want to talk about a ministry in Ukraine that I hope OVF will be able to walk along side of.

Just recently we were given the opportunity to partner with some friends of ours in helping a Christian run orphanage, Father's House, in Kharkov, Ukraine, get back on it's feet. I'm excited about partnering with Shane and Diana Lewis and Room for One More Child to help keep Father's House running for all the kids who call it home.

Shane wrote a blog post back in February telling just a little of the needs that Father's House was facing at that time, and since then things have gotten worse. You can read Shane's words, and see photos of some of the kids, here. I wanted to share one of the comments left on his post just a few days ago by a lady who has personal knowledge of the ministry and the people who run it.

"Hi Shane,

my name is Luba Stefoglo, and I'm daughter of Mikhail Scherbinin, president of the Charitable Fund Children Assistance Center "Otchiy Dom". Juliana Khorolskaya, orphanage's director, asked me contact you. She said that you visited "Father's Home" and even wanted to adopt few children, and know about their difficult situation. As you may know, in previous years the orphanage was mostly sponsored by few private people (me, my siblings, and few other relatives), and now we’re experiencing big financial difficulties and had to stop our support. So Father’s Home is being forced to shut down and send the kids to government owned orphanages. That’s an absolute catastrophe for the children as they love and are used to loving, accepting and encouraging Christian atmosphere, as well as enormous heartbreak for everybody who works there because they have been building this for years, love the kids and want them to grow into happy, God honoring people. Well, I don't think I have to tell you what a wonderful place Father's Home is, and that every one on their staff truly has a heart for serving the Lord and orphans. In order to stay open, they need somebody to provide for their operating expenses."

So, what can we do to help? Room for One More Child is collecting donations to be held for Father's House and sent to cover the monthly budget each month. You can donate by going here and clicking the big button that says "click to donate now", then when you are directed to paypal and log-in you can choose the amount of your donation and in the notes section make sure to mark that your donation is for "Father's House" in Ukraine.

Right now the biggest need is to take the financial strain off of them so that they can concentrate on the children in their care. Eventually, though, the goal is to open a transition house for the kids who age out. After that the dream is to have housing that can accommodate short term missions teams and even adopting families. But, for now we have to start at the beginning and that's keeping the doors of "Father's House" open.


To stay open the home needs $36,000 to operate for the year. In order to do this we are looking for 36 people who will be willing to sponsor the home at $100 a month. If you can't do a sponsorship on your own consider partnering with a friend or even with a group of friends. Or sponsor at $25, $50, or $75 a month. Ideally we would love to have 36 people sponsoring at $100 a month in order to ensure that FH stays open and there's even some cushion for those unexpected expenses that come along, but we know that there are folks who want to help but can only do so in smaller amounts and we gladly accept any and every donation to help Father's House keep operating.


Ok, so just to recap, here are some bullet points. Cause I tend to get confused and if anyone else reading this can relate... well, you prob need the bullet points too.

• Father's House is a Ukrainian Christian run orphanage in Kharkov, Ukraine
• They are in danger of shutting and sending all the kids to state-run orphanages
• They need $36,000 a year to operate
• With 36 sponsors at $100 a month we can keep them open
• Donations should be sent to Room For One More Child here (remember to note it's for Father's House)
• This is a great way to see James 1:27 come alive in your own life.