One Year Ago Yesterday: Losing Liza..... ??

September 29, 2010

September 29, 2010 was Austin's 14th birthday, but I was the one who got the surprise and it wasn't a good one. We'd been in Ukraine for one whole day and had recovered somewhat from our jetlagged tiredness. We'd decided to go out and explore Kiev and hoped to meet up with a few other families at TGIFs later that evening. Then we got a call.....

Serge called us as we were walking along Kreschatik Street and asked us if we would meet him at TGIFridays, he had some news for us. I KNEW it wasn't good. I just knew. But, Rick was sure that it was just to go over what our process would be like at the SDA the next day. I knew, from all the blogs I'd read and all the folks I knew who had been through the process before us that it wasn't typical to have a meeting with Serge before the SDA. I was right.

I remember getting to TGIFs and finding Serge, and then I remember seeing a bunch of faces I'd previously only seen online at a table in the corner. The families had decided to get together for lunch instead of dinner and we didn't know because we'd been out and internet wasn't working. I remember wondering if they knew something was wrong when we passed them and only said hello and went upstairs. I remember wondering if those who'd had their SDA appointments already had also had a meeting with Serge the day before, but I knew they hadn't. Something was not right. I remember wanting to hear what Serge had to say and get it over with but not wanting to know because I knew it wouldn't be good. It wasn't.

After 20 months of being in process to adopt Liza we were told that there was a problem with her paperwork and she wasn't adoptable. Apparently her parents had not signed the right papers when they abandoned her to the baby house. That meant that if her parents could not be found and/or weren't willing to sign new paperwork she would not be adoptable and we would need to choose another child to adopt. On top of that, her parents had divorced and rumor had it that her mom was living in Moscow. There was talk of having to fly her here IF she could even be found there. It looked bleak, very bleak. Serge was telling me not to cry and I just remember thinking, "I'm not gonna cry cause I am NOT giving up! Do you realize what I've already been through just to get HERE?!" I didn't say it out loud cause it seemed no one else thought there was any hope left. So, I let them think what they wanted - knowing the whole time that it wasn't over yet.

After that we went to Serge's apartment to look through the children still available on Reece's Rainbow that fit with the small parameters set by our Homestudy (it had been written specifically to adopt Liza) and Rick's age(he was already over 45). The child had to be a girl, had to be between the ages of 4 years 8 months and 5 years 11 months. I remember there being talk about possibly not adopting a child with Down syndrome, but another disability. I just knew that I had come to adopt a child with Down syndrome and if we did have to choose another child I was planning on that child also having DS. But, no one seemed to want my opinion or maybe I just wasn't in the mood to "shop" for another child so I just continued to keep my thoughts to myself.


After a while Serge had another appointment to get to so he drove us back to TGIFriday's and we walked back to our apartment. I remember later going out to find an internet cafe, since our computer wouldn't work, and looking at the little girls on RR trying to decide who would take Liza's place if it really came to that. That was so hard. How could we give up on Liza? But yet, it could be another little girls chance, and how could we not want that?

After that hard, hard day we went back to our apartment to get ready for our SDA appointment the next day. We must have talked to the kids at some point and wished Austin a happy birthday but I honestly don't remember that at all. I do remember knowing I wasn't going to be able to sleep and I was right. I spent most of the night laying in bed or pacing. But then I remembered a couple of verses that had gotten me through at other times that we had faced mountains and won. Psalm 60:12, Zephaniah 3:17, and Psalm 18: 2&3 got me through that night. After reading these verses over and over to myself out loud and praying I knew that no matter what happened the next day He was still ultimately in control and I was right in the middle of His plan.

September 30, 2010 coming soon.....

Austin is 15!

Handsome devil, isn't he?

I can not believe it but my baby is 15 years old today! And as he keeps reminding me, he will be able to get his learner's permit in 9 months. Lord help me!

A little list of Austin. Austin is:

• smarter than his mother - he's in 10th grade Governor's school and doing well
• funnier than his mother - the wit, the sarcasm he says the funniest things out of nowhere sometimes
• TALLER than his mother - I went to Ukraine and he was almost as tall AS me, I came back and he was taller. I cried....
• A really great big brother to Liza and a good role model for Noah

Happy Birthday Austin! I love you so much. You're the one who who taught me what it meant to be a mom. To put someone else's needs, wants, and safety before my own. I'm really proud of the young man that you've become and I just know that great things are in your future. 

One Year Ago Today: We Are Here!

Last year on this day we had gotten to Ukraine and thought we'd be getting Liza's referral in a couple days and meeting up with a whole lot of other Reece's Rainbow families. We didn't know that the next day we would be facing the biggest mountain yet and our lives would intersect with a little girl, and later a family, that would eventually make the pain of those hours worth it.

That story comes next, but today is just a reminder of where we were on Sept. 28 2010. I was bored, jet-lagged, and a weird combination of nervous/anxious and curious/excited all at once. I'm pretty sure we did go out and explore the area we were staying in and maybe even had dinner with another family - I'm a little foggy on that now. We were determined to make the most of our adventure and I think we did.

Below is last year's post from today:

"And "here" would be the country that Liza lives in. We have our appointment to get her official referral on Thursday and I am really hoping we get to go to her region and meet her on Friday. This has been a long time coming and I am so ready to see her walk through those doors for the first time so I can actually lay eyes on my dream come true.

So far, things are not bad here and I think that's how they'll be. I am tired, hungry, and feeling a little lonely (cause Rick was sleeping - now getting up), but I think after I really get some good rest and some good food I will be ready to face this adventure with a big smile on my face. How can I not rejoice?! We are SO close!! Praise the Lord!"

One Year Ago Today: The Incident on the Way Over

On this day last year we left Virginia on a plane headed to Germany, where we then got on another plane that took us to Ukraine. I remember being nervous, worried that I had forgotten something important, and at the same time SO incredibly excited that in just a few days I would actually be meeting the dream I had held onto for almost 20 months. It was indescribable, really.

But, the plane ride was not really what I expected, at least the first one. I think that I envisioned it as a time to read and to catch up on sleep but something happend that made that not the case and if I hadn't been so tired and jet-lagged when we got to Ukraine I'm sure I would've blogged about it then. Since I didn't I'm going to try to remember it now.

I don't really remember boarding the plane but I remember finding my seat and getting into it. It was one of three in the middle of the plane and it was, of course the one in the middle. I remember hoping that a nice not so big person would sit beside me because I had Rick on one side and I didn't want to feel too claustrophobic. Well, I found the perfect saying to describe what happened next:


Things which you do not hope happen more frequently than things which you do hope.  ~Titus Maccius Plautus

So, of course, the  passenger that sat next to me was a rather tall, rather muscular guy who didn't seem so nice. Actually he seemed quite fidgety and bothered. I figured I would be ok, I'd just read my books, talk to Rick, watch a movie or two, sleep, it would all be fine. Then I heard my next door neighbor ask the flight attendant if he had time to go to the restroom and she told him no. He got even more fidgety and bothered and then used a few curse words and got even MORE fidgety and bothered. Then I smelled a smell that I remembered from potty training days and I thought, "No way!!" 

But, yes, it turns out Mr. FidgetyBothered had wet himself and I had to sit beside him all the way to Germany!

Honestly, I almost felt sorry for the guy because I could tell he didn't want anyone to know what had happened  and I just can't imagine how it did happen. Although, I suspect alcohol played a role because he smelled slightly of alcohol as well. 

So, needless to say, it was not a real comfortable flight. I tried not to get too close to Mr. FB because, well... you know. But, yet, I didn't want him to know I knew. I was also worried if I fell really asleep my head would roll over to his shoulder and that was not something I wanted to let happen. Sorry if that sounds mean, but it was a weird situation.

There you go, that's the story of the smelly guy that I alluded to at the end of my last OYAT post. I wonder what others would have done if they had been in my place. Would you have asked to move to another seat? Tried to show a little more compassion to Mr. FB? What would you have done if it was you?

Fundraiser Friday: A Lilla-Rose Giveaway/Fundraiser for Maxim

*Announcement - The winners of the giveaway are Eidmon and Megan. Please contact Linda and look thru her site to choose the clip you would like to receive. Congrats to you and thanks for playing!! :) *

Maybe it's not right for me to plug "my own" fundraiser on Fundraiser Friday, but technically it's not "my" fundraiser. It's for Maxim and Linda is the one providing the goodies - I just happen to be the one lucky enough to share it with you all. So, I'm making this my FF post for this week and that's all there is to it ;o) 

 

So, if you remember how this works, there was a winner drawn yesterday for last week's part of the fundraiser/giveaway. That winner is "Eidmon". So, Eidmon if you'll email Linda at mrsmenk at menk dot us or leave her a message on either her personal Facebook page or her Lilla-Rose page she will get you your free clip. Congrats!!

 

Ok, now for those of you who have not entered the giveaway yet, you still have time and there's a good chance you could be the winner of a free clip. It's SO easy. All you have to do is Like Linda's Lilla-Rose Facebook page and leave a comment here letting us know. Then you get extra entries for sharing on your blog, your Facebook page, or even twitter - then come back here again and leave us a comment letting us know. REALLY easy! And don't forget, 15% of all sales goes into Maxim's grant fund.

 

And can I beg? PLEASE, PLEASE do this! WE had hardly any interest this last week and it's broken both of our hearts, because we want to see M's grant fund grow and we'd love to see his face get seen by someone who might decide they love him so much they want to bring him home. So, share everywhere you can with everyone you know. Come on, I need something to make me smile - trust me.

A Lilla-Rose Giveaway/Fundraiser for Maxim

Remember him? You know I couldn't let you forget!

Just recently Reece's Rainbow has made it possible for the older children (6+) to have their own grant funds again. I was so excited about this for one main reason, and his name is Maxim. I plan to build his grant as high as I can so that when his mom and dad find him money won't be standing in their way. Thanks to a friend of mine I've been given my first opportunity to do that.

Linda Menke has recently started her own business with Lilla-Rose. They are the most beautiful hair clips I've seen in a while. I've already picked out this Celtic Knot clip for Liza. Linda has offered to donate 15% of all sales for the next two weeks to Maxim's grant fund. In addition to that she will be giving away one Lilla-Rose product each week by random drawing. To be entered into the giveaway see the bullet points below (cause, remember, I get confused).

• For one entry go to Linda's Lilla-Rose Facebook page and "LIKE" it. Leave a comment here on my blog to help us confirm.
• For another entry place an order of a product from Linda's Lilla-Rose website. Then leave a comment here. Remember 15% of all purchases will be donated to Maxim's grant fund.
• Or go to Linda's website and choose your favorite piece and leave a comment here telling us what it is.
• For one additional entry post to your own Facebook or Blog about this Fundraiser/Giveaway then come back here and comment with the link to your post.

Please make sure to leave a comment or comments HERE with every thing that you do that would  earn you an entry into the giveaway. Linda will be keeping track of the likes on her Facebook page and I'll be tracking comments and posts here, and we just don't want to miss anybody. Thanks!!

Father's House - Small Update

Remember not long ago I posted about Father's House? Well, they have a blog now and are working on a website. Shane has been working hard to raise the needed funds to keep the Home running. Right now they are in need of $2000 to buy firewood to heat the home. I'll copy what Shane wrote on the Father's House blog  here but to chip in to help using the chip-in box at the bottom of that post you'll have to click the link above. Thanks for giving and sharing!

Baby, It's cold outside!

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”

- John Wesley

Last year, we could no longer afford the $1500 a month for public heating, so we switched to heating with firewood. We asked God's people for help and they answered!

It is now that time again. We are in need of $2000 by the end of the month to purchase firewood to heat the orphanage through the winter. Would you prayerfully consider helping?

We are not a registered charity yet. If you'd like to give by check and receive a receipt for tax purposes, our missionary friends in the region have offered to receive donations on our behalf. Please email me for the information on how to do this. My name is Shane, fathershouseua@gmail.com or call (219)313-1424.

One Year Ago Today: Making Memories

Old Glory Outside Nationals Park / Photo by Rachel Levitin

 Still loving Facebook's tendency to randomly remind me of what I was doing last year. I just wish they were a little easier to find. Today's reminder of last year brought back a memory I would have forgotten since I apparently left my camera at home that day. Here's what I shared on 9/11/10: "Decided @last minute to go to Nationals game. Perfect day: it's Heroes Day; weather's beautiful. A young Vet thru first pitch, got standing ovation."

We had gone to Maryland to visit Rick's oldest daughter and her husband and while there we decided to go watch the Nationals play. It turned out to be a nice time and we were glad we went. Not really because of the game itself, although that was fun, but because of how they recognized firefighters, police officers, and military personnel throughout the game. I was really glad to be able to share that with my kids before we left for almost 2 months to bring Liza into our family. A huge change, but one none of us would change if we had to.

After a day of remembering what happened on 9-11-01 it was nice to be able to remember a great day spent with the family. I don't ever expect or want to forget what happened on that day 10 years ago, but I'm still thankful for a sweet memory to end the day with.

Mom Rant

I just need some advice or encouragement or just to know that I'm not the only one. Or something. I can't really post on Facebook anymore cause the folks who attend the same institution that keeps making me rant this same old rant are tired of seeing it and they all think I'm asking for too much or I'm just "that mom". You know, the one who sees discrimination everywhere just because my child has an extra chromosome. So, I'm just gonna lay it all out here and see what kinda feedback I get.

Let's say you take your child to functions at this institute where babysitters have been hired, on the institutions dime, to watch the children of those who are attending said function. Yet every time you drop your child off you get the distinct feeling that they're not happy to see her and then when you go back to get her she's been separated to a different room. Sometimes with younger children, sometimes with older children, and sometimes alone. And, no matter where she's at, EVERY TIME it's obvious no one's really paying attention to her.

Or several times you go back for her and she's done #2 and no one's bothered to change her or to get you so that you could do it since they don't want to. Even when you bring a bag with all the essentials.

Or, even though there are babysitters hired by the institution for the function-goers children, you're other older children are asked to stay with your daughter (without pay) - either in the room with the other children and babysitters or in a separate room. Or you are expected to give a little more notice that "your child" will be there so that they could "prepare".

So, am I wrong to be angry? To think that there is some discrimination going on? Am I being "that mom"? Or am I right to feel like I do? To be tired of being told I'm expecting too much, when all I'm really expecting is for my child to be treated like all the other function-goers children?

A Lilla-Rose Giveaway/Fundraiser for Maxim

Remember him? You know I couldn't let you forget!

Just recently Reece's Rainbow has made it possible for the older children (6+) to have their own grant funds again. I was so excited about this for one main reason, and his name is Maxim. I plan to build his grant as high as I can so that when his mom and dad find him money won't be standing in their way. Thanks to a friend of mine I've been given my first opportunity to do that.

Linda Menke has recently started her own business with Lilla-Rose. They are the most beautiful hair clips I've seen in a while. I've already picked out this Celtic Knot clip for Liza. Linda has offered to donate 15% of all sales for the next two weeks to Maxim's grant fund. In addition to that she will be giving away one Lilla-Rose product each week by random drawing. To be entered into the giveaway see the bullet points below (cause, remember, I get confused).

• For one entry go to Linda's Lilla-Rose Facebook page and "LIKE" it. Leave a comment here on my blog to help us confirm.
• For another entry place an order of a product from Linda's Lilla-Rose website. Then leave a comment here. Remember 15% of all purchases will be donated to Maxim's grant fund.
• Or go to Linda's website and choose your favorite piece and leave a comment here telling us what it is.
• For one additional entry post to your own Facebook or Blog about this Fundraiser/Giveaway then come back here and comment with the link to your post.

Please make sure to leave a comment or comments HERE with every thing that you do that would  earn you an entry into the giveaway. Linda will be keeping track of the likes on her Facebook page and I'll be tracking comments and posts here, and we just don't want to miss anybody. Thanks!!

One Year Ago Today: A Special Date

*This was my post last year on this date. Little did I know then that there was going to be one more big mountain to fell. Praise God we did move that last mountain and now the most beautiful blessing to ever come out of Ukraine is sleeping beside me as I type this.* 

Nope, not the kind of date where Rickydoodle and I get all dolled up and go out on the town. Is it called "dolled up" if I'm talking about Ricky? Probably not... don't tell him I said that....

Anyway! This special date is September 30th 9AM. Not 9AM our time, it will actually be 2AM our time or 11PM on the 29th if you're on the West coast. But, don't worry about all that cause what really matters is that at.........................

9AM LIZA'S TIME on the 30th we will finally be getting the official referral from her country to adopt her!!! Hallelujah!

Woo hooo!!!!! How excited am I?! I want to pack right now and buy plane tickets, go over there and just camp out outside the offices where we get this referral. I don't know how I will make it the next 3 weeks until it's really time to go. I guess I'll have to find ways to stay bus. Oh, I can NOT wait to hold her!!

Isn't she a doll?! 

Liza: "Mom? You comin' yet?"

Me: "Yes! Baby girl I am ON MY WAY!!"

*So far these posts have probably been a little boring, but there was a lot of our trip last year that got left out. Like the guy who sat beside me on one of the flights and..... well, let's just say I was wishing for nose plugs. And the famous American and his "entourage" that walked into the coffee house we were sitting in in Kiev, the one day I left the camera in the apartment. And the little girl that almost became our daughter.*