Thursday, December 24, 2009

Melancholy Musings on Christmas Eve Night

*Now that I do have a connection I figured I'd add a bit to this. Cause I reread it and it kinda depressed me :) I sent this as a text from my phone cause I haven't been able to figure ut how to email a post yet and it only let me use a certain amount of characters. What I add will be in italics. Probably no one cares but I'm big on honesty so if I don't I will feel like I'm not being real. Yeah, I know I'm a weirdo!*

I can't seem to get a good connection to post lately but wanted to speak a little bit of my heart. This is my outlet after all. I have been realizing that I desperately need community.

I don't know if it's the holidays, the weather, hormones, or what but I really feel lonely a lot of the time. I feel like I was made to live like the Algonqins did (right?) in those longhouses with many generations in one home. I love the idea of that! I find myself wishing for the days when I was a young single mom. I lived with my children in my Godparents' home with my Godparents and my Godsisters. Not that I don't want Rick but I miss what those days represent. Just wondering if that makes me weird? It was a sense of community, I think. It's similar to when I lived in my apartment. Even though it was my own place I knew there were always people close and there was always someone in and out. Maybe some folks would hate that, but I loved it. And where we live now it just doesn't happen. 

So, now that I've depressed everyone. Merry Christmas!


The Mac's House said...

Maybe it is this darn Virginia weather as I know that I feel the same way sometimes.... :)

Although I am "blessed" to have my daughter still living with us and her 18 month old as well. I never dreamed that my daughter would have a child in her early 20's and living with us but it is what it is. Now I can't even begin to think what it will be like when they are ready to move out on their own, how odd, strange, and yes quite honestly lonely it will be in the house without them.

Living here in Virginia without one single solitary relative around us makes me feel exactly the way you wrote.

Melissa said...

Hi "The Mac's House"! I think you may be right about the weather being partially to blame cause when the sun shines I feel better :) I looked at your profile and thought it was cool that you live exactly where my son suggested earlier today we take a day trip to this weekend. Little things like that just tickle me. Thanks for visiting!

The Mac's House said...

Yes we live right around the corner from Pierce's BBQ on Rochembeau on your way to Walmart. :) Really good BBQ if you've never had it.

CW is a great day trip that's for sure. Great place for the kids to get out stretch and run themselves tired. :)

I hope you have a great time when you visit. Bundle up its chilly out there. :)



Elaine said...

I know exactly how you feel. I mean, I don't think I could handle a long house, but I understand the need for community. I had finally found that, and had a good balance (for me) of family time and "community time" and then we moved. It has been a struggle, because I don't feel like I have much of a community here (especially since everybody lives so far away), but I keep trying. And I got a SAD light. It helps.