It Wasn't Us

Edited 2/19/09: I read back over this today and realized that I never updated what happened when I spoke with J(the lady from our agency) about the "misunderstanding". Apparently, what I failed to realize when we took "The Girls" is that in our state 2 and under is counted as two children as is a child with special needs. So when she said emergency or respite that's what she meant, a child with special needs or under 2 would have to only be emergency/respite for now. We are still approved for another child full-time as long as they aren't in the category mentioned already. It was good to know that we had not been deliberately misled. I feel lots better about our relationship with them now.

Thanks to all for the prayers and concern for us. It was appreciated! :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


We were not the family chosen for the little girls. I am not upset about that, because I knew that we might not be chosen. I do feel that we were misled by the agency we work with. When we took in "The Girls" that we have now we understood that we were approved for three children and we let them know we were really hoping for a young child that we could possibly adopt. Today I heard from one of the ladies and she told me that the third spot is only respite and emergency and that we do not have the square footage for three foster children full time. When we took our current placement we sat and talked with her about logistics for a future third child and respite/emergency was never mentioned.

I really do not like feeling like I have been lied to or misled by people that I work in close contact with on something so important. Someone is going to hear from me on Monday. I just pray God will help me to speak my mind without causing any more issues. UUGGHH! Sometimes I HATE foster care!

No News

We still did not get any more news about what's going on with the possible placement. I think that we are probably not going to be chosen and I'm ok with that. I really would like to just KNOW already though. Yet, I do realize in the world of foster care and adoption it just doesn't work that way. Ah well.

I am much better today than yesterday and do so appreciate all the comments asking about progress and letting me know you were praying. It means a lot to me. Here's hoping for some news tomorrow!

I Know Where the Nesting Thing Comes From.......

It is a pathetic attempt to distract ourselves from the endless waiting and the unendurable fits of nerves that come along with waiting for our children or news of possible children. Whewee! How's that for a never ending sentence?

My nerves are so ragged right now. I have cleaned my bedroom, washed down and dried all the windows in my living room-that was a feat with 7' tall windows, vacuumed TOO many floors, wiped down walls, cleaned sinks, and the list goes on. All to take my mind off the fact that we MAY be hearing something today about the exciting new development from Friday.

Honestly ya'll, it bothers me that my nerves are so on edge about this. I keep asking myself if it's because deep down I don't think I'm ready or if it's because this is not God's Will for us. Yet at the same time I keep imagining what it will be like when they're here. Looking at little girl clothes online and stalking Craigslist and Freecycle for bunk beds. I just keep praying all day that God will open everyone's eyes to the right placement for these girls. That doors that should not be open will be shut and that the right ones will be opened.

If I don't hear something soon, I may just lose it. Either that or my house will be sparkling!

Yet Another Twist in the Journey

Last night I went to a Women's ministry function at church. Wasn't expecting anything too exciting to happen, well I did expect to meet with Jesus and that's always exciting, but otherwise nothing exciting. Imagine my surprise when I was approached with a possible adoptive situation. I was gonna put an exclamation point there, but that would imply more excitement than I want to put into this at this moment. I mean, I could be excited about it and I probably will be if something comes of it but right now I'm not getting my hopes up. I know those of you who have been there and done that know what I mean.

So here's the low-down:
An acquaintance approaches me and says, "This may be a silly question, but are you open to taking more foster kids?"

I of course told her that we were, thinking she knew of someone who needed to have their foster child moved for some reason. Then she told me that she worked with two sisters who needed to be moved to a foster/adopt home and they were really struggling to find a family to take them. And asked if we would be interested. These little girls are seven and one.

Rick and I talked about it last night and we are interested but trying to be cautious as well. I don't really feel like having my heart broken yet again. On one hand I know it could be an answer to prayer. LB is now seven (being adopted by her foster parents-BTW) and we really wanted her to be part of our family plus I have a strong desire to have a baby girl. These two girls fit that so well, but I am being cautious and guarding my heart. Another issue is, "The Girls". We don't know what would happen with them and I would hate for them to have to be moved to another placement in the middle of the school year. They have had that happen to them too many times with their bios, I don't want to do it to them as well. I also can't imagine how it would make them feel to be kicked out so that two younger more permanent kids could come in their place.

We can do nothing but pray, just like we always do. God's Will will be done whether I like it or not and maybe I'm learning to be at peace with that. Either that or I'm getting cynical. The vote's still out on that one.

Music and Life-Noah 1-4-09

What kind of bad motherblogger am I? Yes, that was my sad attempt at humor. Feel free to ignore it. Here's the deal. One of my kids had a birthday on January 4th and I am just now getting around to his birthday post. Horrid, right?

Noah, my "baby", is ten years old now. I am totally flabbergasted at how he could possibly be that old, but he is. He reminded me the other day when I said he was nine. This is the child that proved to me that I truly could love another child just as much as I loved Austin. The one who makes the craziest facial expressions you've probably ever seen without even trying. The kid who says the most random things at random times to crack everyone up.

One of the funniest things that I love about Noah is his issue with kissing. He decided at around 2 1/2 that he was done with kissing people and stopped giving kisses. If you wanted a kiss he offered you his cheek so you could kiss him. This was kind of hard for me, until I discovered that I was the ONLY person he would randomly go to and offer a kiss to. Those kisses were so much more special for me because I knew that kissing was not really his thing. I'm happy to say it's still not and let's keep it that way!

Noah is funny, sweet, and friendly but shy. Oh, and tremendously cute too! He's a huge Bakugan and Harry Potter fan. He loves his big brother, and is in that stage where he wants his own identity yet still wants to know Austin will be willing to play Nerf gun wars with him.


This is Noah's favorite song right now. "99 Red Balloons" by Goldfinger. He knows that this is a remake of an old song but I don't think he's ever heard the original. He'd probably prefer this one anyway.


Happy Birthday Noah! I love you!

Pickles in the Bathroom

On New Year's Eve we allowed "The Girls" to go to a Lock-In hosted by one of the Missionettes teachers at church. They had been grounded prior to this for not respecting other people's things, something they both struggle with, but we thought we'd make an exception because of my birthday and give them a chance to redeem themselves.

Apparently, they like being grounded.

This is what we heard when we picked them up the next day.

1. They were part of a FOOD Fight
2. When asked to stop with the food fighting they were the only ones who did not.
3. Then they took pickles into the bathroom and began throwing them at each other.
4. They were just generally disrespectful and disobedient.

The sweet lady who teaches this age group said that if it hadn't been my birthday she would have called us to come and pick them up. Needless to say Rick and I were both mortified. And, of course, they have no idea why they acted the way they did. The thing that gets me is they love Ms. P also and when we made them write letters of apology they were both near tears when they gave them to her. So, WHY did they act this way in the first place? I don't get it.

Well, actually, on some level I kind of do get it. I think that maybe it was too much freedom for them and they just couldn't handle it. It's no excuse, but it's the only explanation that I can think of. We have told them that they are on severe lockdown mode. They have to be within sight of Rick or I at any public place we go to. Which S has already tested by trying to saunter over to the other building after church on Sunday to pick up one of our other kids. I had to call her back and asked her where she was going. Her answer was the standard, "I don't know". They are also grounded to their room and pretty much have to ask permission for everything.

It will probably be a long time before we allow them to do anything else like this. I'm wondering if we should discontinue all field trips and such since we don't know if we can trust them to behave if we aren't there. Anybody have suggestions?

Pickles in the bathroom. It's almost funny!

Merry Christmas/Happy New Year/Happy Birthday

I have a hard enough time making myself post and then I get hit with Christmas, birthdays, and the New Year all at once! My poor little ADD brain can't handle the pessure. I have lots to say but I get distracted plus I tend to have perfectionitis. I made that up I'm pretty sure but you probably can relate-if it's not gonna be perfect I just don't even get started. Not sure where that comes from, but I need to work on it.

Anyway, here's what we've been up to.

Austin got a cell phone for Christmas. He was NOT expecting that in a million years!

Noah asked for binoculars. We're not sure why, but he was happy he got them.

Miss Annie got new Webkinz. What an awesome smile!

The Girls got gift cards to Build-a-Bear as one of their gifts. I wish I could show them with their new "friends" but they're faces show in all the other pics. They were happy though.

The boys got gift cards to Ridemakerz. They had loads of fun buiding a car. All the folks in the mall had loads of fun watching me run between B-a-B and RMZ taking pics of two sets of kids!

I turned 32 on the 31st. Hard to believe I am actually that age. It seems I think more lately about how time really does move along so fast. I guess that's normal? Or maybe I'm just nuts!

My budding young photographer (Austin) took my pic with my birthday cake. He's tons better at it than I am!

My Rickydoodle took me out to dinner at the restaurant that we hd our fist date at 4 years ago. That first date was on my birthday also. He can be romantic when he wants to be :)
(I couldn't get this pic turned.)