Can You See My Child?

I watched this video this morning and just enjoyed watching two young people with Down syndrome do ordinary things. Then it got to almost the end of the video and the young lady said, "Even though I have Down syndrome, I still think of myself as a real person." and my heart broke and tears came.

I'm glad that she sees herself that way. It made my morning to see that she (and the young man in the video) seems to have a lot of confidence in herself and her capabilities, but she shouldn't have to even clarify that she thinks of herself as a "real person". She IS a real person, first and foremost, Down syndrome comes after that fact and is just a part of what makes her the person that she is.

Yesterday on Facebook I saw a post from an acquaintance on an encounter she'd had with a young man with Down syndrome and how it had changed her perspective. She went from pitying those with "that disability" to admiring them because this young man "prophesied" over her son and was "filled with wonder and excitement". Her post and the comments of others pointed out to me how people with Down syndrome are either seen as "less" human or "special" human. I did comment to the effect of how I hope my daughter will be seen as simply HUMAN and I was going to let it go at that. But, now that I've watched this video and gotten stirred up I just can't let it go.

*I do want to say that I don't hold anything against the young woman who posted the Facebook post or anyone who commented. I feel like sometimes people think I am just a mad Mama out to get anyone who doesn't agree with me. That's not it. I'm just a Mom on a journey. I'm learning as I go and I'm hoping that the rest of the World will want to learn along with me.*

Now, with all that said,  here's where I've been going with all my "stirring up". I'm not eloquent and my tendency towards ADD doesn't allow me to expound on all my little thoughts and ponderings like I'd want to. So, I'm gonna lay it out in bullet points and hope that others will come along and help me answer the questions or even raise more. That's how we learn best, right?

• What if the young man my facebook friend met hadn't been a Christian? If he'd just said "what a cute baby" and then talked about other things? Would she still have had her perspective on people with Down syndrome changed?
• My guess is no, and that makes me ask- "Why does he have to have that in common with you in order for you to see him differently that you would have?" (maybe just human nature...?)
• Why can't people see that having the attitude that those with disabilities are "less" or "super" human is what leads to them being marginalized in education, health care, employment, etc?
• I shouldn't have to fight against these attitudes to get Liza included in Kindergarten! Dammit!
• I shouldn't have to tell folks who work at a hospital for kids with special needs that using the word "re*ard" is not something they should do! Dammit!
•  What is society doing to people with Down syndrome (and other disabilities) when the messages that they get are that they are either a "special" person or a "lesser" person?
• What is it going to take for us as advocates to change the way society sees our kids? To get them to see them as people?

I'm not by any means an expert on inclusivity (is that a word? maybe it should be.) or accepting everyone who is different from you. I catch myself at times being judgmental due to some stereotype, and I hate myself every time I realize I've done it. Or being "too nice" to correct folks when they say something about Liza like, "Oh, it's ok that she hit me. I think it's just her way of saying she loves me." . 

I just want to grow and learn. Is it too much to ask that the rest of the World grow and learn with me? If you're stirred up too or you just want to learn how to really change your perspective on people with Down syndrome or other disabilities please check out Down Syndrome Uprising.

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3/21: Big Hugs & BedHead

I love this picture of Liza. Her and her bedhead. This is pretty much what it looks like every morning when she gets up. It's the one consistent thing about her mornings, cause I never know if she's gonna hop right up out of bed with a smile, bat me away and pull the covers back over herself, or just stay sleeping no matter how much I poke/prod/cajole.

This morning was one of those "happy" mornings. She woke up with a smile and then wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on my shoulder. Then, after taking care of "morning business", she needed to be held some more and she patted my back as I patted hers. I really love those mornings.

Today on World Down Syndrome Day, 3/21 for the 3rd copy of the 21st chromosome, I feel like I should be posting about Down syndrome in some way or another, but all I can think about this morning is how this little girl, who greeted me with a sleepy smile and a big hug, just two years ago was a terrified, half-neglected orphan. Two years ago I was pretty sure she did not like me and I was scared that maybe she never would. I won her over, thank God!

I think for WDSD I hope that advocating for acceptance of people with Down syndrome as simply PEOPLE will mean that less children will be abandoned to orphanages or foster care because they are born with Down syndrome. That parents whose children are diagnosed in the womb will not have fear and false information thrown at them.

That's it, my hope for today. 

Liza Meets Carissa

The other day Liza and I were grocery shopping in a nearby town (that has more than one grocery store) and we ran into Carissa. I was so happy to see her again. She's always got to know how I've been and how big The Boys (aka The Brothers) are now. It's just nice to run into someone who is genuinely interested in you and your family no matter how long it's been or where life may have taken you since you last saw each other.

This time I was excited to introduce Liza to Carissa. I know that they aren't going to be soul friends just because they both have an extra chromosome, but I am a silly, sappy woman and I feel like Carissa is part of the reason that I knew Down syndrome wasn't something to be scared of, and that adopting a child with Down syndrome could be a beautiful option. So, I wanted to introduce them to each other. Here's what happened:

Me: Carissa, have you met my daughter? Liza?

Carissa: yes (I didn't remember that they'd already met but if Carissa says they have. They have. I know for a fact her memory is better than mine! Must've been last time I saw her at WM.)

Me to Liza: Liza, say hello to Miss Carissa.

Liza: *throws a small container of fruit out of the buggy at Carissa's feet*

Me: Liza, stop that!

Carissa: She's being bad, huh?

And, that's what happened when Liza and Carissa met. No stars falling from the sky. No instantaneous connection.

There have been times when Liza has met someone who also has Down syndrome and seemed to immediately connect with them. Maybe I was expecting that? Or maybe those other times it was the other person who recognized that Liza was "like them" and for Liza it was just another person who she got close enough to to hug before I could stop her. My rose colored glasses do tend to help me see things the way I want them to be.

I'm kind of glad that her's and Carissa's interaction was just that of a naughty little girl meeting her mom's old school friend. That's perfectly all right with me.

I just hope next time they meet Liza can refrain from throwing things.

Reece's Rainbow Advocating

Ever read the book, "A Mother for Choco"? If not, you should really check it out. It's great for even just teaching compassion to little children. Not to mention adoption and seeing everyone as more alike than different. I love that book and read it to my boys over and over when they were small. I challenge you to look at the pictures of these kids and imagine them asking, "Are you my mother?" Come on, what have you got to lose really?

   This is Vera. Her sad face jumped out at me today on Reece's Rainbow and I couldn't stand it, I just had to get her face out so someone will see it and maybe her family will find her. Her description on Reece's Rainbow includes a caption that says, "Please come for me soon, Daddy." It really looks like that's what she's hoping for. However, she is in a country that single women can adopt from so if she catches your heart and you're a single mommy I'm sure she would love to have you! Vera's Mommy or Daddy? Are you out there? For more info please contact Andrea Roberts or visit Reece's Rainbow.

This is Claire! My friend from Christmas, remember her? She just turned two years old back in January and she has a $500 grant now. She's at a really great age to benefit from a loving family and all the early intervention that she needs. I just know she could thrive if she was adopted. She's in the same country and region as Vera. So, single moms are accepted. Are you her family? For more info please contact Andrea Roberts or visit Reece's Rainbow.




                                                                             
This cute little baldy is Anna B and if you look very close it looks like she's wearing earrings. She is absolutely beautiful, isn't she? I can just imagine how stunning she would be when her hair was allowed to grow out. She needs a mommy and daddy to help her reach her full potential. Do you know them? Same country and region as the girls above. For more info please contact Andrea Roberts or visit Reece's Rainbow.





This is Elena. I just love her DARK hair and eyes with her light complexion. And those cheeks!Isn't she gorgeous? She also is in need of someone to love her and provide her with the early intervention services that would help her to thrive and reach her fullest potential. She's in the same region and country as the other girls and all information and requirements can be found here. For more info please contact Andrea Roberts or visit Reece's Rainbow.





There are so many other kids listed with Reece's Rainbow, please give them a look. I could have posted one hundred pictures here and still had others that I would love see find a family. All of them just waiting for someone to fall in love with them. It really could be you and your family. So, what are you waiting for? What's holding you back?

Update on Tonya & Claire

To Give Tonya Hope
CLICK HERE

Since I posted about Tonya the other day we found out tht there IS a family that wants to adopt her but is worried about the financial aspect of adopting internationally. In other words the only thing stopping them is money. So, Lu, a friend in London has created this button to help spread the news about Tonya's need. If you are willing to help please grab the code for the button and paste it wherever it might be seen.  There is a family at her orphanage now adopting a friend of Tonya's and they say that she really wants a Mommy and Daddy. Let's see Tonya's Hope of a family become reality!
As for Miss Claire: She now has $400 in her grant fund! Yay! So, if you donated after reading my last post: Thank You! I am hoping that she will reach at least $1000 by the end of the Angel Tree and that she will have a family committed to adopting her. If you are interested in any of the children featured on Reece's Rainbow you can contact Andrea Roberts, her info can be found here.

Tonya and Claire

Look at Tonya all decked out in her pink winter outfit! Pink certainly seems to be her color. She is still waiting for a family and her profile can be found on the Reece's Rainbow site here under ophanage 24. She is also on the Angel Tree under "Help me get to $2500". Her total grants together are over $4000. This will really help to defray some of the costs of her adoption. Are you her family? Do you know someone who might be? She's been waiting a long time and is at the age she can be transferred to the institution.  I really don't want to see that happen to her.

Sweet little Claire! This is my Christmas Angel Baby, who I have not done a great job of advocating for. You can find Claire on the Angel Tree under "help me get to $500". Every DOLLAR donated to her fund helps bring her closer to having a family. But, for $35 you get an ornament with her picture on it to hang on your tree. How great would it be to pull out her ornament next year and know she is celebrating Christmas with her family and you had a part in that! There are truly families who would love to step up and commit to these children but can't because of the cost. So, the grant funds that Reece's Rainbow raises for them really are saving lives every day.

In just the 30+ days that the Angel Tree has been up this year 28 kids have had families step forward to adopt them. I am blown away by this and looking forward to who's moved to the "My Family Found Me" area next. Maybe it will be Tonya? Oh, I hope so! Or Claire? That would be great! OR maybe BOTH of them? That would be SPECTACULAR! :)

Reece's Rainbow Christmas Video

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

If you're touched by one of these beauties please contact Andrea with Reece's Rainbow to learn more about adoption. The adoption grants raised through RR really go along way to help each child find a family, but if you're still nervous I would urge you to check out Lydia's story. If they can do it what's stopping the rest of us? It can be done, and with all the roadblocks we've faced I can still say that. More news on that to come ;o)

Claire/The Angel Tree

Remember Claire? She's the little one I'm praying for during the Holiday's this year. she's still waiting for her Mom and Dad to come for her. To adopt her into a loving family and out of the orphanage. Away from the threat of the institution.

Even if you don't feel that you are called to adopt I encourage you to take a look at Reece's Rainbow's Angel Tree and sponsor one or more of the children featured there. There is truly no shortage of families that are ready and willing to bring these children home, but there is a shortage of funds all too often.

The NUMBER ONE reason I hear for people not adopting is the cost. So, please sponsor a child. I would love for it to be Claire, but go and take a look at the Angel Tree and decide for yourself. Reece's Rainbow will send you an ornament for every $35 donation and it's Tax-deductible. It can be a wonderful way to teach your kids to pray for the orphans. Hang the ornament on your Christmas Tree or display it in a prominent place to remind you to pray every day. I can tell you, it's an amazing feeling when you find out a child you've been praying for has been committed to by a family.

Let's see the lives of some special kids changed this Christmas! To get to the Angel Tree click on the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Ornament on the sidebar or this link http://www.reecesrainbow.org/angeltree2009sponsorpage.html MAKE SURE to mark any donations with Claire's (or the child you choose) name so that the donation is marked specifically for them.

Filed Under: Things That Make Me Cry

This story about a bunch of cheerleaders in Iowa made me cry tonight. Darn cheerleaders! Don't they know I'm trying to uphold my tough reputation in front of my 10 and 13 year old boys? It's kinda hard to do when your watching videos like this one. Going to check it out? ;o)

Not Really So Different

Yes, I know I said I was going to actually DO the 31 for 21 Challenge this year. I was going to REALLY post every day for 31 days. Yeah, that didn't really happen. I am a quiet person by nature and sometimes I just don't have much to say, that and sometimes I have a crappy Internet connection. ;o)

But, I do still want to raise awareness for those with DS and their families so I am just going to pick up where I'm at and go with it.

Tonight I watched this video on Renee's blog and just cried. I really LOVE to see adults with DS living wonderful, happy lives and want everyone else to see it too. I firmly believe that we really are "more alike than different".

Repost: Dale T.

*I originally posted this last year on October 17th. Wanting to remind myself of some of the people who influenced me in this decision to adopt Liza, I figured I'd repost some of them for 31 for 21*

Dale T. was a friend of my Godfamily. They all went to church together and he loved my Godsisters, especially Kelly and Cheryl. I remember the first Sunday that I met Dale, I was going to church with them for the first time and I guess Cheryl and I were both around 11 or 12. She told me on the way there that he would come over to us, probably give her a hug, and would want to know who I was. She told me that he was different and that he was actually alot older than us but not to be afraid of him he was really a sweet guy. I didn't have any clue what she was talking about and had to wonder about this guy. It turned out that Dale was a friendly guy, who loved his church family and the Lord, and who also happened to have been born with Down Syndrome.

I don't remember much about him, but I do remember that I liked him. It was kind of hard not to. You just can't not like someone who knows instinctively how to make you feel welcome. He was a part of the youth group in his early 30's and of course I knew then it was because he was more on our level, but I didn't realize how great that was for a Southern Baptist church in Georgia in the late 80's early 90's. In fact, I guess it's pretty impressive that his parents raised him at home at all. In the day and age he was born it was still common for babies like him to be sent away. How sad! We may have never gotten the chance to know Dale? He broadened our horizons, helped us to be more accepting of people who were different than us. I know he took away misconceptions that we may have developed if we had never had the chance to know him.

I, for one, am thankful that I was blessed to know Dale T.

Christmas Angel Ornaments

It's almost time for the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree project again. You can't see the kids or sponsor them but you can get a button that you can add to your blog to raise awareness for them.

You can find the ornaments here. There are five to choose from. I would suggest checking out the Reece's Rainbow Angel Tree page while you're at it. There is a lot of good info there about why they do what they do. The most important reason to do any of this, of course, is so that a child can find a home.

Robert's Story

If you've ever thought that a person with Down syndrome doesn't have anything to contribute to this World I'd encourage you to read Robert's story. I think he'll prove you wrong.

I am fully expecting God to use Liza in some way. Even if it's just her presence that impresses on someone else to adopt a special needs child. I KNOW that He wants to do good things through her life and I believe that we will see it. I am SO looking forward to that day!

Things I Ponder: 10-3-09

• What do kids really think when their 5' 109lb mother tells them that Spinach will make them "big and strong"?

I love spinach. I always have ever since I was a little girl. I think my mom thought I was strange. What kid actually likes spinach? My kids, they do not really share my love for Popeye's favorite veggie. I'm always telling them that it's good and it's good for them... blah, blah, blah. Yeah, they don't seem to believe me.

Psychologist Update

We did meet with Dr. Psychologist today and I think it went well. It's always hard and a little nerve-wracking to have to talk about personal issues with someone and then when you feel like something so important is hanging in the balance... Whew!

It was a looooong day. We started at a little before 10 am and we left his office at 2pm. Talked a lot about family dynamics and our own personal histories. We still aren't sure what the original "issue" was, but we feel like we might have an idea.

So, that's about the extent of that. I do feel like it went well. That he will write his report and the ball will be in the HS agency's court, so to speak. I just hope they like what he has to say. One thing I do know is spending four hours talking to a psychologist will WEAR you out! I am tired....

Down Syndrome Awareness Month - 2009

It's Down syndrome awareness month and I am going to buckle down and try to blog once a day this entire month. I tried this last year, and am not linking right now cause it's late and I'm lazy. Ha!

Since it is late and I didn't want to miss the very first day I'm going to cheat and post another picture. This is Claire and she is the little one I have promised to pray for from now until after the Christmas holidays. Praying for her family to find her. Is it you? Reeces Rainbow :)

Running - part 2

Do you remember that I mentioned I was running? Tomorrow is the big day. Or as Austin stated, "Tomorrow is the Day I run a 5K!"

As we all know though, things never come as easy as they first seem. I woke up this morning with my knee bothering me. I've been advised to ice it, take Ibuprofen, and stay off the knee. I'm hoping it will be all better tomorrow and I'll be able to run with no problems. If you think about me please pray. I'm also hoping to be able to wear a pin that I ordered from Shelley representing Ukraine and Down Syndrome. I think this will be a great opportunity especially since tomorrow is World Down Syndrome day. I didn't know that when I signed up to run on this day but now that I do know I hope I have an opportunity to share. Maybe the pin will give me that opportunity.

What Will YOU Call Them?