Sunday, January 17, 2010

Music and Life: Worth it All

This song was brought back to my mind yesterday, thanks to Tracie. I had written typed a post back in May using this song and was glad to be reminded of it again. Especially in light of everything we've gone through since May. Hmm, maybe let's take a little stroll down memory lane:

  • First it was finding out the HS agency wasn't gonna be so easy to work with. (See post linked above)
  • Then some not true things were said by our former foster child or someone close to her. Still never got the full story on that. All I know is that we were maybe the "bad guys" for a bit. Minor bad guys, but it still hurt to have our name dragged down like that.
  • Car trouble - as in, having to buy a new one kind of trouble. Which took a little bite out of the 401K money that we had borrowed to pay adoption expenses.
  • Commissioner of Revenue trouble.
  • Then came the Psychologist Saga 
  • After we finally found Dr. Psychologist and met with him he went AWOL on us. Yep, he thought the reports were faxed by his assistant, disappeared for a while, only to come back to frantic messages from me. Poor guy probably hopes he never has to see me again :) Honestly, I hope the same. No offense Dr. Psychologist.
  • Now, I find myself feeling lonely and depressed at times. We are almost at the end of this and everything has finally smoothed out with the actual process and my emotions go hay-wire. Maybe it's a spiritual attack? Maybe it's hormones and stress? I tend to think it's a little bit of both, but I'm hanging in there.
So, I list all the hurdles we've had to jump and all the stresses and people probably wonder, "Why?! Why put yourself through this?" All I can answer to that is this:

I look at this sweet little face and I know that it's all gonna be worth it. One day I am gonna hold her in my arms and hear her sweet laugh or feel her arms hug my neck and I will know all of this was worth it.

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