Sunday, September 7, 2008

"The Girls"

All my life it seems it has been "Melissa and The Boys". As a kid I was older sister and ONLY sister to two boys, so, naturally whenever anyone spoke of my parents' kids it was "Melissa and The Boys". Then I grew up and found myself as a single mom to two little boys, and it was once again "Melissa and The Boys". Gotta love God's sense of humor, huh?

My brothers and my sons may need counseling someday for identity issues, but that's another post. This one is about "The Girls".

I know I can't share their names here and haven't really decided on code names for them. For now I'll call them C and A, or "The Girls". C is the oldest and she is 12 years old. She has super curly auburn hair and is tall, I think, for a 12 year old. But, then, I'm short so maybe she's just right. She's taller than me, anyway. A is 10 and has long blond hair and is not taller than me :) They both have beautiful crystal blue eyes and are really good girls at heart.

There has been the usual adjustment: a little attitude here and there and some tears. I know it has to be hard for them to be away from their family, especially since it's not the first time and everybody thought last time was a reunification "success story". At least that's what the social workers told us. Their former foster parents and others have said that they had their doubts even then. It really is sad. It's almost like playing Russian Roulette with kids' lives and hoping for the right outcome. I keep wondering where these girls might be right now if they hadn't been placed back home last time, if they had given Mom/Dad a little more time to make sure they were really ready, or maybe if someone had known what would happen and they had just stayed with Mr. and Mrs. T. They tell us these stories that make us cringe. Stories of before they were in foster care the first time and after they went back home. No child should have to live like that and their story isn't nearly as bad as some others' who are in foster care right now.

I have been impressed with their maturity in some areas. They know that it is best for them to be where they are. They understand that they weren't in a safe environment with Mom and Dad and that both Mom and Dad need to get help to overcome the obstacles that keep them from being the parents to them that they ought to be. So far in all this I have still been able to pray for their parents and hope that maybe this time they will be able to gt it right. To turn it around and be what their girls need. I'm surprised by this because I thought that I would have to fight to overcome a grudge at the way they have mistreated their kids and it would be hard to even pray for them. I guess it's God's grace, and some of the stories from those in our congregation that met Dad and say that at one time he was really trying, even bringing them to church once he got them back. I hope it's not too late.


Melissa :) said...

Amen! :)

Brandi said...

That's so cool. What an opportunity you have to speak truth into their lives. I love how involved your church has been. We just found this book, "Small Town, Big Miracles" on amazon and ordered it . .about a church of 200 who adopts 72 foster kids. . .sounds amazing. Your church is making an eternal difference and you are part of it. Dwell on that for a moment. . God is SO good!!!

Keep blogging. . please!