Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tearing Up


That's what I have been doing ALL day most days! Everything is making me cry. Songs on the radio, stories on facebook, and videos on blogs. I'm not usually an overly emotional person, in fact sometimes I think I'm not emotional enough. But, this latest road block is really getting to me and I am starting to feel defeated which is showing up in daily life as crying at pretty much the drop of a hat.



I am just so sick of being held up. I am so tired of waiting for everything to come together and work out for us and for Liza. I guess I am just growing weary all together. I'm not ready to give up but I just feel like this ride is never going to end. November is getting closer and closer and the closer it gets the more I am afraid that we will not be ready to submit our dossier. Who knows what that will mean for Liza. Will she be sent to an institution before we can get to her? If so, will we still be able to adopt her?


I am just so ready to be at the other end of this and holding my sweet girl. Hearing her laugh, which I have been told is tremendously cute! I know this is a lame post. I'm just keepin' it real folks. I am worried but praying hard all day every day. Trying to believe that we will be ready before they take that Winter break. My little sweety has waited long enough. Dontcha think?

7 comments:

Amy said...

This is not a lame post at ALL!!! In fact, we're all glad to see that you are a real person. :)

These feelings are SO normal, especially with hold-ups. Its a hard thing. But lots of us have been down this road and lived. Just remember that! HANG in there, do everything that you can to keep the adoption process physically rolling, and then preoccupy (sp???) your mind with other stuff. Keep yourself busy. This time WILL pass, you'll be holding that little one and that blessed forgetfulness will make you forget the pain the same way you forget the pain of labor.

Praying for God's peace today. :) Blessings...

Karl and Ashley said...

your post really resonates with me.
Except November to us means that we have to wait until February. I do not envy having to fear an institution.
I'm praying with you.

Elaine said...

I wish I could reach through the computer and give you a big hug. I can't imagine the stress and worry. Well, okay, I can imagine it. Praying that everything works out soon!

Amy L said...

I'm praying this roadblock will quickly be moved so you can get on your way to Liza. She's a sweet little one. 'Dear God, please hold onto Liza and keep her safe in your arms as she waits for her Mommy and Daddy to come.'
Amy

soontobemomof9 said...

I have found this process more trying and exhausting than I ever thought I would! Every time I think I am "almost there" something else comes up that I forgot about or didnt' know about. We committed to the girls in Feb. It will be after Feb. 2010 that they will come home! I wanted 9 months or less, not over a year or more!!!! It is HARD!

Praying for you, and all the others that are having trouble getting "there!"

Shea said...

Praying for you!

Melissa said...

Thanks for the prayers everyone!