Thursday, February 19, 2009

Confessions

I have a confession to make. In case you couldn't already tell by the sporadic posting, I am a pretty reserved and often quiet person. Unless I have a little too much of my favorite coffee, chocolate, or wine. But, that's not the kind of confessing I'm doing here today.

Lately I feel like I've been too quiet. I feel like I'm in danger of losing my voice entirely. Like maybe I'm giving up? That is not a feeling I've been comfortable with the past few days. In fact, now that I'm here letting these feelings flow through my fingrtips I'm getting a little angry thinking that somebody is trying to rob me of my voice. Convince me that it doesn't matter what I say or how I feel. I like that anger, it makes me want to do something about it.

I'm not really sure where it started. Maybe with the disappointment in not being chosen? Or it could be the other iron I have in the fire these days. I've been working on proposing an Orphan/Adoption ministry in our church and I guess I feel things aren't moving at the pace I want them to. Ahh, patience, sometimes not one of my better virtues.

No matter the cause I am determined not to allow my voice to be silenced. In fact, I'm praying that God will give me a voice to use with confidence. A voice that can't be silenced by any disappointments. A voice to speak for those who have been robbed of their own.

2 comments:

mary grace said...

I just started an Orphan/adoption Ministry in my church, and it's been a ride, let me tell you ...

Praying for you. The road is hard, sister.

Rebecca said...

I have wanted to give up so many times. Many times I have prayed--Why me God! But when God calls you to something there is always blessings. He does not promise a smooth ride but you will be blessed! Hold on because I know that God has something so very special for you!