Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Truth Hurts

I have really been wanting to post about all the 'crap' that went down with a certain agency, that we just happened to be using, but I just don't know where to start. We are moving on. Researching other agencies at this moment and maybe have settled on one, but I am really wary now. And, you know what? I'm pissed! I have been wanting to adopt for a long time now and it took a while just for hubby to decide that this was something that was right for our family. Then to have given them some of our money and time just for this to have happened.... I thank God that we only got as far as the application being sent and waiting to start our HS.

Oh well, I guess it's a lesson learned. There were warnings out there about this agency but I just wrote them off because those who were using/had used them and the Coordinator I was in touch with were so positive that I thought it was just a difference of opinions. I was pointed to them by this Coordinator via an email after she read a post about on a listserv in which I asked for recommendations. Maybe that should have been my first red flag.

I would encourage anyone who is starting and searching for a new agency to do your research thoroughly. I know a lot of times we go with a certain agency because they are known to get babies home young and fast. I would LOVE for my daughter to be as young as possible when I hold her for the first time but that is no longer my most important point in choosing our next agency, in fact the one we are thinking of has told me that they won't even refer a child younger than six months. I have to do what is right to the extent that I can and if that means my child will be closer to a year when she comes home then so be it, I will just have to trust her beginnings to God and know that when she is in our arms we have no regrets.

Check out "Mrs. Broccoli Guy"'s posts here and here. I found them very helpful and encouraging. I mean, come on, a lot of times we don't want to hear it but it's exactly what we need to hear. You know what they say, "The truth hurts".


Anonymous said...

How far into things are you? Is it worth it to get out? It would have been for me if we were pre-referral. I have now learned, waiting is good in some cases.

Melissa said...

We had only gotten as far as sending our App and fee. So, we feel that it is worth it for us to just move on to another agency. Trust me, I don't WANT to wait but I do feel that I'll exchange some waiting for some peace of mind.
Your baby boy is gorgeous, I'm glad you were able to bring him home with no problems.
Thanks for reading and commenting :)

Dawn said...

So sorry to hear that you are changing agencies. I pray that you are happy with whomever you choose. You have to do what feels right to you. I will continue to follow your blog and wish you all the best!!

jenn said...

Hang in there, pray it through, keep your eye's open and look for fact vs rumor. That is one of the hardest things right now in the world of adoption...trying to sift fact from rumor, true experience from hateful vendettas. Truth is not so easy to get to this day.

Also know that a 3 year waiting list does not always = ethical agency. There are some good, smaller, agencies out there without the glossy brochures and heartwarming videos.

Give it all up to Him, ALL of it, and you can't go wrong!

Christina said...

Hi, I saw your post on APV and just hopped over here... didn't even know you had linked to my blog. I'm glad if my posts helped though. And I just want to say, I really admire you for stepping back and making the decision to change to another agency in order to be sure you have an ethical adoption. That's not an easy thing to do, but I think in the long run you'll be glad you did.
Take care!

Heather Field said...

Sorry to hear you had to switch agencies. We had to do that as well. Our first agency was covered inred flags, can't believe we didn't see it sooner! We are so happy with our new agecny. Email me if you'd like some info on our new agency.
Good Luck! It will happen, all in God's perfect timing!

Too Blessed to be Stressed said...

we had problems with our first HS agency!! PLEASE know at this stage it was HUGE blessing and I can see God's hands ALL OVER IT!!!!

I can share if you are interested?