Families Needed

As you may be able to tell this is supposed to be a blog about our adoption of a baby girl from Vietnam, however, here lately it's been about whatever the crazy woman who lives in my head feels like at the moment. That's because we are making NO progress on an adoption, from anywhere. After all the stank that went down with the agency we were going to use we decided to just sit back and see what happened and whether or not adoption from Vietnam would even continue. As we gave it some time we started thinking more about a special needs adoption. We had thought before that we would be willing to adopt a child that may be passed over otherwise. Since we have been trained as Therapeutic foster parents and I have experience working in the school system and our church with Special Education students we're pretty sure we could handle a variety of issues.

With all that said my problem is that I have been checking out all the Waiting Child lists that I know of and so many of these children are in China and Korea and we are not approved to adopt from either. I hate it because every list I see the majority of their children are from one of these two places and I just keep thinking if they didn't have such strict requirements perhaps a lot of these kids would have families by now. I understand the desire for the children to have the best life possible but what I can't figure out is how can being a couple years over 45 make you an unfit parent or how can being over a certain body mass disqualify you to be a good parent? These children are living in orphanages and the care they receive may be better than in days past but it's not anything like having a family that you know is yours forever. A little extra weight, a past bout with depression, being older or any of those other minor issues isn't going to make it less a family.

We still have plans to adopt, we are just not saying we are adopting from "XYZ" and I'm trying not to put a timeline on it. I know..."Good Luck with that!"

Beauty from ashes

I was over reading Dawn's blog this morning and ran across her post about different people's perspectives on Vietnam. Reading it reminded me of my trip to the bookstore the other day.

My family and I love to walk in the beautiful, historic downtown area and browse a cool used bookstore that all the cool college kids go to. So, while we were there I noticed that they had lots of books on various other countries and they were all shelved and labeled according to country. They had oodles on China: culture, history, people, travel, even cookbooks. So, I decided to look for books on Vietnam. I was a mite disappointed. The only subject the two full shelves of books on Vietnam covered was the Vietnam War. Not even any novels based in Vietnam :(

I'm not sure if maybe it's because we have a war going on right now that some people feel is similar in some ways, or because it is so near the college and that is what the kids come looking for, or if the war is just all we associate with Vietnam when we think of the country. I hope it's not the latter for the sake of the children that we are adopting and those who have come here seeking a new life. I think that if this is the case we are missing out.

I don't mean to invalidate the experience of the veterans of the Vietnam War, I know that it had to be a horrible time. I just hope that we can see the country and it's people as separate from the War that took place there. I have met some Vietnamese people living here in the States and they are wonderful people and from all that I have heard and pictures and video of others' trips that I've seen, the country is beautiful. I can't wait for my turn mainly to finally meet my daughter but also to get the chance to personally experience Vietnam itself.

Finally Ready!

The name says it all. We are finally ready to make the Journey to the Promise that God gave me more than two years ago. Allow me to share our story with you.

I knew when my husband and I got married that we would not be able to have children together. Although I had two boys and he was father to five (yes, you read five), I had always wanted to have a big family and had not planned on ending at my two. Besides that most of his were already grown and they all had moms whom they love(as it should be). I wanted to be mom to at least one more and I really wanted a daughter. I have dreamed of her ever since I was a little girl myself. I prayed about this and we talked about in-vitro, vasectomy reversal, and foster care. None of these seemed to be the answer. Somehow I heard about International Adoption and began to research it and then I mentioned it to Rick. To my dismay he was totally against it, he felt that we could adopt a child domestically easier and with less financial burden. I was not convinced and just kept praying, researching both and sharing with him any inf on the subject. One Sunday morning while in the choir loft at church I was praying and crying out my heart's desire to the Lord. Our Pastor took the Mic from the worship leader and began to share that God had spoken to his heart that there were some there who really wanted a baby and God wanted us to accept the promise that He was making to us at that moment by stepping out in faith and coming to the altar to claim that promise. Of course I did just that with tears streaming and my heart full. It was awesome to know that my Lord heard my cry and cared enough to give me a promise to hold onto.

Of course I wasn't the only wannabe mom to step out in faith that day. There were three other ladies who were standing with me. Today one of them is Mom to two beautiful little girls, she was told she could never have children, she's given birth twice. Another is Mom to a beautiful chubby little 5 month old surprise boy and waiting for their referral of a little girl from Colombia. The third is Mom to an almost one year old perfect little boy. I am the only one still waiting, and it had been hard at times. First I had to wait for my DH to come around, but through a lot of prayer and watching adoption videos, talking about it and yes, some crying. He has come around, and even then the road has not been easy. It seems every time we're ready something happens. First China changed it's rules right as I turned 30, then our furnace broke and money we had planned to use for the adoption went to that, then we were misled by another agency who told us they could help us adopt from China anyway(thank goodness we never gave them any money, just too much time in limbo). Then as if that wasn't enough I lost my job. Sheesh, when it rains it really pours!

Through all of this I have held onto the Promise that God gave to me. I don't believe in coincidences, I know that the promise spoken that day was not just for those other ladies but for me as well. I have not seen the fruit of that promise yet but I am holding onto it. I know that it was for me because my husband is stubborn and only God could have changed his mind and we moved and found a new church where there are five families that I know of who have adopted internationally. I just know that my daughter is coming and the time is getting close. I've been having dreams lately and can't wait until the day I see her face for the first time. My sweet baby girl, she's already becoming so real to me.

We should be starting our Home Study in the next few weeks and then begin our Dossier to send to Vietnam. I am so ready!