Reality and Fundraising

Ever wondered why folks fundraise for adoption? You think, "why should I help them "have a baby"? Because it's not about that family gaining a new child, it's about THAT CHILD getting a family versus the reality they currently live in. That's truly the bottom line. Unfortunately changing these kids' realities costs a lot of money :( Thank you to ALL who gave to help change Liza's reality!

*posted as my FB status
 

I wonder just how many adoptive families have faced these types of questions and attitudes? Unfortunately too many that I know have and it really breaks my heart. Not just for them but for the kids who wait while those who want to come and bring change are stifled by those who can't see past the dollar signs. Because really, isn't that what the problem really is?

Why are people offended that we are asking for help to pay the ransom needed to change the reality for these children? Would they be just as offended if a mother whose child was abducted asked for help to raise the money to pay the kidnappers in order to get her child back? What if my child was severely ill and we needed to raise the funds to pay his medical bills. Would that offend you? 

Maybe you'd say those scenarios aren't really the same and I'd have to ask you why you don't think so. 

• Is it because the child I want to adopt isn't "mine"  yet? Well, that may be true but that same child is God's child. You would have to be able to tell me that you don't believe that HE wants you to help me pay the ransom to change HIS child's reality or if you can't do that to be supportive in some tangible way. 
• Is it because you don't really believe that the reality orphan children live in is anything like a child living with a severe illness or a child being held against their will by those who care nothing for them?
• Have you read Carrington's story? What about Theo's? And now there's also Victoria. If you have, do you still think their stories are nothing like that of a child who's seriously ill? Or a child who's being held against their will by people who don't care? Is their former reality the kind that a child should have to live in just because we might be offended that someone is fundraising in order to make a difference for them?
• Or maybe you're ok with giving to a family raising money to adopt a waiting listed child, but a family adopting a newborn is different? But how is it? Why is it different?
• If you call yourself Pro-Life then adoption is something you ought to be supporting in SOME way, and the best way if you can't or aren't willing to adopt yourself, is to support those who are whether the child they hope to adopt is born or unborn. 
• Mothers who want to place their children for adoption need the assurance that there are families waiting to adopt their babies when they're born. Those families need our help to stand in the gap. The alternative reality for those babies is foster care or life in an orphanage. Do you want to tell that mother that's the reality for her child because you just can't support adoption?

These families are hoping to adopt children who need families. Children who may be born and waiting in foster care or orphanages or children who are unborn, whose mothers are hoping for just the right family to step forward. They need our help to stand in the gap and help them reach these children. But honestly, it's not about them - it's about the children whose realities they are desperately trying to change. When you consider giving think of the children first.

Brooke and Michael Annessa - Adopting a (hopefully) soon to be born infant they will name Adelyn.

Renee and Steve Tam - Adopting a little girl with DS they are naming Paisley. They hope to travel soon!

Amanda and David Burlingham - Adopting a little boy who was once Liza's buddy and happens to be blind. I got to hold this little guy and can't wait for him to meet his family!

Amy Lucas - Adopting Liam, a little guy with DS who will be her 5th son :) Gotta love little boys! Moving fast so she would really appreciate the support.

Ann and Jason Plummer - Adopting Barbara and Matthew, 2 little ones with Down Syndrome.

Jenn and Chris Abell - Adopting Olga, who I had dubbed "Liza's twin" when she was waiting :) They look some alike and have that same mischievous gleam in the eye, oh and the same extra chromosome!

6 Months in Photos

I have been seriously lacking in updates on this blog, heck in just blogging period. Facebook, I love you but I blame you for my lack of blogging ability for a while now (not that I was ever this amazing blogger, but you know...), it's just so easy to go and throw up a little blurb every now and then over there and post photos too. After I've done that I usually get sucked into what everyone else is up to and somehow blogging just never happens. The first step towards recovering from an addiction is admitting it, right? So, I admit to an addiction to Facebook. We'll see where that takes us :)

Since Liza has been home now for more than SIX months I knew I needed to do a really nice update post on her progress. The other day I was looking thru all the pics of her from orphanage to present and even I was struck by the total difference in even her appearance. Rick and I both have been at a loss as to what to call it and then on Facebook my friend Renee Tam shared something that struck me and I realized what the difference was -" ‎'Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.' — Maya Angelou I can't wait to see Paisley thrive, she's been just surviving long enough..." in case you don't know Renee is adopting a little girl she's naming Paisley who shares that little something extra with Liza.

For the past 6+ months we have had the privilege and honor to watch as Liza went from just surviving to really THRIVING. It has been amazing to watch and I thought the best way to celebrate the past 6 months and share with you all the difference we've seen was to start at the beginning - the first day we met her - and move forward to the present in pictures.  

Typical Daddy/Daughter Interaction

Couldn't find a good pic of them together. But, this'll do, right? :)

So, we're out having lunch today and this is what takes place.

Liza is sitting beside Rick on the booth seat across from me. She is eating nothing but french fries and he wants her to eat her chicken. (BTW- how did she turn into a typical American kid so fast?)

Rick tells her to eat her chicken and then gives her a stern look as she picks up another french fry.

She looks at him as if to say, "what?" That doesn't work so she puts on a cute face and shakes her ponytail at him.

He almost smiled, but didn't quite crack. He says, "Liza eat your chicken." and tries another stern look.

She leans behind his back and kisses his shoulder.

Dad eats the chicken and she eats her french fries.

Liza 1 / Daddy 0

Liza's "Brother's and Sister's" - Brody

I've shared before about some of Liza's friends that she grew up with who are still waiting. Recently a friend who is adopting one of Liza's friends referred to these other kids as her son's "brothers and sisters" and I realized that she was right. These kids were the only brothers and sisters that Liza knew until we brought her home. They fought just like siblings do. As I was told Liza and Victoria did quite a bit before V was transferred. I really hope that a family finds her soon and that we can get the girls together again. I'd love to see what they think of each other when they don't have to fight for the attention of the adults in their lives.

My friend, Andrea was able to spend lot's of time with all of these children and since she has returned home it has become her greatest hope to see them all adopted by loving families. She posted recently about Brody.

When we were in Ukraine we were able to meet Brody and I haven't been able to forget him. Poor Brody just cried constantly and even at times would harm himself by banging his head on the floor as hard as he could. Unfortunately, when he did this no one tried to stop him :( It was almost as if at four years old he already felt that all hope for him was gone. It totally broke my heart and I prayed for him to receive help from somewhere. To have someone who would love him no matter what. Andrea did just that every chance she had, but we all knew that her time there was going to come to a close and we worried what life for Brody would be like then.

Praise God that before Andrea left Brody was transferred! Wait, since when do we rejoice about a kid being transferred? This transfer turned out to be a good thing for Brody. Andrea said he is much calmer, his head no longer has ping pong ball size knots on it, he is loved and treated with respect. That is something worthy of praising God for! It would be even better, though, if he had a family. Please go and read Andrea's post about Brody. If you know of someone looking for a sweet boy who has so much potential. Who just needs to continue to have hope poured back into him, please share Brody's story with them. He is worth it!

5/5/5 Warrioring

I love to say Warrioring :) I don't know if it's even really a word, but I just like the way it sounds and what it stands for. It means we are literally fighting for the lives of kids who have no one else to fight for them. I never really thought of myself as a fighter until I realized how passionate I was about the least of these. Whether it's the orphan around the World, the young man in the grocery store who no one else wants to look at because he has an extra chromosome, or even just my little brother who, at 6 years old, had the audacity to step on the brand new shoes of one of the high school football players (that's a story I should really share someday).

As of May 5 Reece's Rainbow has launched a new Warrior program to advocate for all of the children listed who are five years old. Why only the five year olds? Because five is the average age that a child will be transferred to the institution. Liza was TWO months from turning five when we took her from the orphanage and I know that's where she would've gone if we had been denied her referral, which almost happened. She actually should have gone at four but because they knew we were coming and she was a favorite they held her as long as they could.

Those of you who have met her:

Can you imagine this child living in an institution?

I know how far she's come in the amount of time she's been with us and I shudder to think what a transfer would've meant to her. New faces, new routine, all new caregivers. Maybe she wouldn't have been the favorite anymore. Maybe her tendencies to try to be in charge of everyone wouldn't have been seen as cute and endearing. Maybe her Drama Queen moments would've landed her on the bottom of the pyramid when it came to attention, feeding, bathing, and all those other little things that are needed to keep at least a semblance of health and happiness. Just thinking of the possibilities causes me to praise God once again for changing the circumstances that could've kept us from receiving her referral in Ukraine. That's another story I should tell someday....

So, now we come back to sweet Callie.

We originally planned to adopt from China but then weren't qualified. So, she is my China baby of my heart till her Mama finds her :)

She is in China, she's five, and she desperately needs the same chance at a new life that Liza has been given. Please help me find her Mama or donate to her fund to help her Mama/Papa find her.  Do it because you have a heart for orphans. Do it as a tribute to Liza. Do it because we are commanded to care for the Widow and the orphan. Do it because Callie has no voice except the one that we give her. 

Celebrating Zara

Who's Zara? 

She is. 

Precious, right?

Today is Zara's birthday, and my friend Julia wrote a post dedicated to this sweet one. It touched my heart, made me cry, and I decided I needed to dedicate a blog post to Miss Zara as well. It's the least I can do for such a sweetheart on her birthday when there's nothing else I can do. I wish I could visit her, hold her, whisper in her ear that someone cares for her today on her birthday, and everyday. Doesn't she deserve that just as much as any other child? Breaks my heart that there is no celebration of Zara today as she turns 2 years old.

I was going to try to stir myself to post about Liza's first day of school. And that is VERY important! Can you believe it?! This child who for almost FIVE whole years was considered not worth teaching actually went to school today! I am in awe every time I think of it. I will post photos and highlights of that later but the contrast is what struck me.

Today I celebrate Liza's first day of school. But, Zara lays alone all day long. Most likely the only time she will be talked to (or at) or paid any attention to will be to get her diaper changed and to be fed. AND IT'S HER BIRTHDAY! Breaks my heart that something that should be celebrated so joyously is just passed as another day. Oh Jesus! Please let your baby know she is celebrated and loved today, and everyday!

Please share Zara's story. Go and read Julia's post and share it on Facebook or your own blogs. She needs to be celebrated today. Two years ago on this day a precious gift was given, so far the family this gift was meant for has not discovered her yet, but still - she is a gift. A precious treasure. 

Wild Olive Giveaway!!

One of these days I AM going to win one of these give-aways... LOL

This time Wild Olive is giving away FIVE of their new  Transform Your Mind hoodies. They are so Purrrtttyyy. Go and see for yourself, seriously. All you have to do is visit, grab the button that looks like the pic at the top of this post, blog about it, and link up back at Wild Olive. You can also get extra entries for Like-ing them on FB, and following on Twitter. Easy peasy.

Thanks Wild Olive for this chance to win - I really needed something to lift my spirits at the end of this LONG week. Guess, I need to work on Transforming MY mind, huh? :)

Things I Ponder: Too Many Fights

Last night was Life group with one of my really good friends, Tari (You should check her blog. She has such awesome truths to share). She's been teaching us about Prophetic Worship and it's been really good. The best part for me has been learning that worship is also warfare. That when we are in a place where we just want to cry, scream, or may be experiencing the worst pain of our lives making a conscious choice to worship can help us to come out on the other side of it.

One of the verses last night that we went over was 2 Chronicles 20:17

17 You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.”

We talked about how we are also told that God is fighting our battles for us. Something I've heard my whole lfie, but yet is SO hard for met to do! I am a fighter, I'll admit it. If I wasn't Liza probably wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be where I am right now. If there is a fight that I need to fight I will stand my ground and fight until there are no weapons left for me to use. 

I really kind of like this about myself, I hope that doesn't sound prideful. But, how does this part of me fit in with the promise of God that He will fight my battles for me? Have I been using up all my energy fighting battles that He wold gladly fight for me? Or have I been doing what I am supposed to do and He is fighting the parts of the battle that maybe I can't see? Questions like this have been rattling around in my head today.

What about when it comes to battles that involve our children? How do we allow God to fight those battles? One of my sons has said some things to someone who used to be a friend of his that were hurtful, not only to this friend but to the friend's Mother, and also to me because I'm his Mom and I hate that he made such a choice. How do I let God fight this battle without shirking my parental duties? What about the battle for my other son and his issues with school and not being able to complete his work. I'm at a loss and want to "give it to God". But, what does that look like? Then there's the battle to get Liza the services we think she needs from the local school system and not what they think they want to give her. What does giving that battle to God look like without just sitting back, praying, and waiting for something to happen?

Right now I just feel like there are too many fights to fight. I think the biggest fight I may be fighting at the moment is giving up the battles. I guess I need to go and play some worship music on my keyboard and sing all my cares away. It worked for Jehoshaphat and his folks. 

22 Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? How do you let go of the fight?

Signing Family

Hmm, I typed that and I realized that some might think what I mean is a family that signs. While we are quickly becoming a family that signs, what I really mean is the actual signing of the word "family". That's what Liza's been doing a lot lately. She learned to sign that word, along with about 50 or so others from the three Signing Time videos that we have. Which she absolutely LOVES!

I can remember one morning, when she'd been home about two weeks, asking her if she was happy to have a family and how she smiled at me so big and then signed "happy". Since then I have caught her a few times just randomly walking through the house signing "family". It's so cute and so sweet and just such a testimony to the fact that EVERYONE wants to be loved! And guess what, they don't care if they have to be taken halfway around the World to be placed into a situation where they will be loved. You will never convince me that orphans are better off in orphanages in their own country so that they can retain their "culture". I assure you, if you go into any orphanage and ask the majority of kids there they will tell you that they want a family - they won't care what the family looks like or where the family comes from, just that the family will love them and be there for them.

So, what am I getting at besides the fact my daughter can sign "family"? This picture below and what hit me today when I looked at it again for one of a hundred times, but this time saw something I'd never noticed before. Do you see it?

Maxim is signing "FAMILY"!! He was telling me the day that I met him that he wants a family. He may not have known that was what he was doing but I know WHO knows every language under the sun and can even speak through a child who has no language!

Today as I watched Liza sign "family" out of the blue once again, I posted about it on Twitter and really didn't think a whole lot about it after that, except to smile every now and then. Then as I was puttering around my kitchen I looked up at Maxim's, Andrey's, and Vanessa's pictures to pray over them and suddenly it hit me what I was seeing. I thought at the time that it looked like he was trying to make a heart with his fingers, but now that I have seen a child who was once an orphan sign "family" I immediately recognized the cry.

I know you can see it too, can't you? Don't you see the pleading in his eyes? Scroll back up and take a look. It's there - that strong longing. The cry of Maxim's heart is to have a family who will love him and give him everything he will need to succeed. It's the cry of my heart as well. "Now that I have seen, I am responsible" (Albertine - Brooke Fraser).

Wow! I have seen and I am responsible. Now, I have helped you to see and you too are responsible. Please share on Facebook, your blogs, twitter, and everywhere else that you can and help me to find Maxim's family. Please don't shrug this off and go on to the next thing. I have held him in my arms and I just cannot let go until he has a family. Please help me and others who love him, like Stephanie, to find Maxim's family.

Lost and Found Dreams

Darn, I seem to be really stuck on dreams here lately, huh? I do mean dreams but not the kind of dreams you have while you're sleeping. I mean the dreams of who you wanna be when you grow up.

The kind little girls have that go kinda like this, "I'm gonna go to college and become a teacher! And then I'm gonna get married to a guy who is funny like Daddy but has more hair. And we're gonna have 6 babies and name them Rosie, Molly, JonJon, Peter, Lexie, and Bob." (Not stolen from any actual little girls I've known or been but probably pretty close)

Or that little boys have that go like this, "I'm gonna be a firefighter and Veterinarian! And then an astronaut and a construction worker! And then I'm gonna be a garbage man so I can ride on the back of the garbage truck!" (very possibly a mish-mash of the preschool dreams of two little boys I love who aren't so little anymore - cough Austin/Noah cough )

Today I was reading some messages a couple other adoptive Mamas had shared. One of them was working on genealogy and found that a few generations back she had ancestors that had lived and worked in the town she is adopting her son from. How cool is that?! Then another Mama said she had looked through her middle school yearbook on a whim and found some notes she had written from back then on the region she had just been to and adopted her daughter from. I don't know about you, but that kinda stuff just gets me excited! It's like God holding a megaphone and shouting, "Hey! I knew what I was doing all along! Even when the thought of these children or any children being a part of your lives wasn't on the radar for you. I KNEW!" Isn't He good?

It made me think of when I was a little girl. I loved my baby dolls! Ask my Mama, she'll tell you how much I loved them. I had about a thousand quite a few of them, and it's a good thing I slept on a double-sized pullout sleeper couch cause ALL my babies had to sleep with me. Well, I couldn't leave any of them out! Are you nuts, and hurt their feelings?! No way!

I also used to say for years that I was gonna grow up and be a Mama. I was gonna be a Mama who had LOTS of babies, maybe even a hundred (I seriously told my Grandma and my Mom this, even started making a list of their names once). I can remember once telling my Mom that I was going to have lots of children some biological and some adopted. That we would be such a large family that we would need a newsletter to keep up with each other. I can still remember her smiling at me and saying something like, "You'll change your mind someday." At the time, No - I didn't think anything could change my mind. All I wanted to do was be a Mama to lots of kids, no matter where they might come from.

BUT, uh oh, there's that word. But. Can't ever be good after a story about a little girl's dream, right? Yeah....

Life kinda takes over, doesn't it? You have all these dreams and visions of what you want your life to be like but life is full of so many twists and turns that take us away, a lot of times, from the roads we think we need to be on to make those dreams come true. Until one day we wake up living a total different life than what we thought it would be like at 6 or 9 or 12 or even 15. Which, isn't always a bad thing. In some cases it could be a very similar life to the one imagined, only even better. Or much more than a little girl/boy could've ever dreamed. Or the little girl/boy simply allowed her/his dreams to evolve into something entirely different, but still their own as they grew up. Sometimes, though, the changes that life throws at us can cause our dreams to be completely disrailed and forgotten.

That's what happened to my dreams. Instead of marrying a good guy and beginning to raise a large family, I made some poor choices that led me to an unplanned pregnancy at 19 years old. Having a baby with a guy who I can now say did not deserve me. Once the shock wore off I was happy that I was going to be a Mom, but by this time in my life the dream of many babies from many places was forgotten (by me, but not by God). As the years went on, I found myself at 24 years old a single mom with TWO babies and trying to get back on my feet after finally gathering up the courage to leave that man that never deserved me. At this point in my life, after all I had gone through, I really felt that my two boys were the only children I would ever have and my dream was dead. It was as if that little girl with the dream of mothering many babies from many places had never existed. Isn't that sad?

But GOD! Don't you love how when He enters the picture you know Victory is coming? There is a reason we call Him the Redeemer. Not just because He's redeemed us from death to Life, but because He can take what we've broken or lost, or what's been stolen from us, and even what we've forgotten and redeem them; placing them back into our hands when we are ready for them again.

That's what He has done for me and for my dream of being a Mama to many. Ever since Rick and I were married and we started talking about adoption my dream slowly started coming back to me. Until one day I realized that the desire to have LOTS of children was coming back to me and the dreams I had as a little girl came flooding back. Memories that had been killed long ago were reawakened, and passions were rekindled.  The dreams of my childhood have been completely re-awoken in me to the point that I can't imagine doing anything else but chasing after this dream. Fleshing it out more and more as I go along. I was meant to be a Mama to many babies from many places. I even catch myself praying sometimes that God would fill our home with the Nations, just like the song by Hillsong that says, "Oh Lord I ask for the Nations". I can't wait to see how He's going to continue to make this dream come true. I know that it may not look like I imagine it but this  time I won't forget this dream that has been placed back into my hands. What a good Daddy he is!

Do you have a dream from your childhood that maybe you've forgotten? I believe that He gives us those dreams at a young age because we have such strong faith to believe that we can do whatever is in our hearts to do. So, don't be afraid to ask for your forgotten or even dead dreams back. I believe that He is faithful to give them back to us, I've seen Him do it for me :)